29 Wounded
by ARtheBard
Summary: When JJ was just 11 years old her sister Amy killed herself...or did she? When a man confesses to 37 murders, including Amy's, the team must weed through his history and re-open old wounds to find out the truth for their friend.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a VERY different story than my others. Part case file, but mostly an emotional journey for JJ. Even Emily is a sort of side character to this one. It was an emotional one for me to write and I hope I did justice to a part of JJ's life that comes to light in episode 5x13.**

* * *

Just like he said he would, once Morgan and Emily were back to 100% Hotch takes a week's vacation, taking Jack to Disney World. And, yes, Emily's Mom was able to get them VIP passes so it was sure to be a trip the Hotchner's will remember forever.

On Friday of that week, Morgan is sitting at Hotch's desk to go over some new tactics being promoted by the entry teams. So far he likes them and may suggest trying some out in Hogan's Alley when Hotch returns. He looks up as a shadow falls across the desk.

"Garcia? You okay?"

The analyst is pale and slightly shaky. Morgan jumps up and helps her into a seat.

"Talk to me, Penelope. What's wrong?"

"I just…got a case emailed to me…you know, I'm starting to filter them with JJ's help to prepare to take them over when her job changes at the end of the month." She hands a piece of paper to Morgan. "This…this has to be a hoax, right?"

Morgan looks away from his friend to the paper. He reads it over, his body tensing. He looks at her. "What else did he send?"

She holds up a flash drive. "It's all on here. Morgan…if it's true…how do we…"

He takes her hand. "Let's take this one step at a time, Garcia. I'll get Reid and Rossi to look into this. They may need your help. For now, we say nothing to JJ or Emily."

She nods. "Right. Of course."

He takes the information and heads to Rossi's office. He looks down into the bullpen. "Reid, can I see you up here, please?"

Reid nods and follows him to Rossi's office. Once Reid is inside, Morgan shuts the door.

"Garcia is now filtering the cases for us. She'll be taking that job over when JJ moves to profiler."

Rossi nods. "We know. She's a little worried about it. It's good she's had a couple months to work with JJ on it."

"Yeah, but she got this in today. I need you two to look into it and you need to make sure neither JJ nor Emily hear about it."

Reid frowns. "Why not?"

Morgan sighs. "Police in Pittsburgh were surprised when a man named Daniel Thedoroski walked in and confessed to killing 37 women over the last 30 years. He had a list. Some of the victims are listed as missing, presumed dead, some are open murders, and two…two were listed as suicides."

"Oh, my God," Reid mutters, seeing where Morgan is going.

Rossi frowns. "What am I missing?"

Morgan looks at him. "JJ's sister Amy is on his list."

The silence is as thick as a wool blanket, and just as stifling. Rossi is the first to speak.

"He could be full of shit. Just a wanna-be serial killer. He could have combed through old newspapers and police reports to get the names on that list."

"I know. And that's why I want you two to go to Pittsburgh to interview this guy, check out his house, his storage units, any place that could tell us if he's for real or not."

"Why exactly did he confess?" Rossi asks.

"He supposedly found God and is now confessing his sins so he can be baptized," Morgan says doubtfully.

Rossi grunts. "A sociopath finding God? Next you'll tell me Charles Manson is becoming a priest."

Morgan manages a grin. "Right. Look, head on out now. If you need us to come…well…we'll deal with that when the time comes."

"Morgan, if that happens, let me tell JJ," Reid requests. "She and I have talked a lot about Amy. I owe it to her."

Morgan nods. "Okay." He looks down at the list of names again. "God, I hope this guy is just a crackpot. I have no desire to scrape open the scars her entire family must have on their hearts over Amy's death."

"Me neither," Rossi says. "But, Morgan, we'll need to talk to family members of the alleged victims."

Morgan looks him in the eyes. "There are 37 names on this list. Worry about the 36 we don't know. Somewhere along the line you'll know if it's worth talking to JJ's family."

Rossi nods. Reid follows Morgan out and grabs his go bag. Emily looks up at him.

"Where you going?"

Reid busies himself with packing his satchel. "Rossi and I have a consult in Pittsburgh."

Emily grins. "Cool. If you need a home cooked meal give Jen's parents a call."

Reid forces a smile to his face. "Yeah. Sure."

Emily stares at him. "Reid? What's wrong?"

Reid sighs. "Just…an ugly case. Not sure we'll be up for socializing." He looks at her. "We may need the team to meet us up there. I'll be in touch."

Emily nods. "Okay. You sure you're okay?"

He shrugs. "Sometimes…sometimes it's just too ugly."

She leans towards him. "If you need to talk, to avoid…temptation, call me, Spence. Day or night."

He smiles at her. "I know, Emily. I will. Promise. Thank you. Take care of Rocky."

Emily grins. "I will. Promise."

Rossi and Reid meet up at the elevator. They see JJ pass on her way into the bullpen. Both men hope the smile on her face will have no reason to disappear.

* * *

JJ hitches a hip up onto Emily's desk. "So, Declan's playoff game is today. You going to be out of paperwork hell in time to go?"

Emily smiles. "Wouldn't miss it for the world. What case are Rossi and Reid heading out on?"

JJ shrugs. "No clue. Pen's pretty much handling all that right now. She just comes to me if she's stuck."

Emily nods. "Oh. Well, whatever it is, it had Reid a bit shaky." She leans closer. "Told him to call me any time, day or night."

JJ nods and pats her wife's shoulder. "Understood. So, want to see if Pen wants to come to the game tonight?"

Emily smiles and nods. "Sure. I think most of the kids get a kick out of her."

JJ chuckles. "No kidding! She has her own little cheering section. I'll head down to her lair and ask her."

Emily nods. "Okay. You have fun down there; I'll continue writing a letter to a cop who thinks he has a serial dog stealer."

JJ raises an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

Emily grins and nods. "Oh, yeah. Sure you want to join in the fun of profiling?"

JJ smiles excitedly. "Can't wait." She glances around the bullpen. "Em, do you think Hotch is going to let me move down here?"

Emily frowns. "You don't want to stay in your office?"

JJ shakes her head. "No. Down here you all bounce ideas off each other, help each other out, and act as stress relief for each other. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need that as I really get into profiling cases, not just scanning them like I've always done."

Emily nods. "Yeah, it would be helpful for you. I'm sure Hotch wouldn't mind. You know, Derek is shouldering extra responsibility for Hotch since Hailey died. Maybe he could use your office."

JJ grins. "Think you can handle your partner in crime being so far away."

Emily chuckles. "I think so. I'll be able to…what does Derek call it…oh, yeah. I'll be able to give you goo-goo eyes all day."

JJ laughs and stands. "Yeah, right, Prentiss. Dream on." She pats her wife on the shoulder. "I'm going to see Pen. I'll let you know what she wants to do. Tell Rocky to be a good girl."

Emily rubs her stomach. "She always is…unless she's craving anchovies."

JJ just shakes her head and leaves to go see her best friend. She taps on the open door as she walks in.

"Hey, Pen, what's up?"

Garcia spins around in fear. "Why? What have you heard? Do they know yet? No, wait, they couldn't because they just left. They aren't even out of Virginia yet let alone to…wait…what was the question?"

JJ stares at the frazzled analyst. She steps back to the door and closes it.

"Penelope, what's wrong?"

Garcia stares at her best friend. She doesn't want to lie to her but how can she not? JJ doesn't need her profiling credentials to see the war being waged behind Garcia's glasses. She steps forward.

"Pen, you're starting to scare me. What the hell is—HOLY FUCK! What the HELL, Garcia!" JJ asks furiously, staring beyond the analyst.


	2. Chapter 2

Garcia spins around and sees the background run she had done on Amy Jareau had finished loading. She slaps the monitor's power button, refusing to turn back to JJ. She can feel the rage and disappointment radiating off the blond.

"Penelope…" JJ says warningly.

"I…I can't…I just…" Garcia says weakly before trailing off.

"Why the hell are you running my sister's information? Why the fuck would you do that? Are you going to use her in your support group as some sort of…of…sick warning about suicides? TELL ME!" she demands.

JJ is so angry she hadn't heard the door open.

"JAREAU! Calm down," Morgan orders.

She spins. "Don't TELL me to calm down! She's running my sister, Morgan! There's no fucking need for that! She…she fucking-!"

Morgan steps forward and takes her arms. "JJ! _**I**_ordered her to look up any information she could find on Amy."

JJ pulls away from him. "What the hell?!"

Morgan wipes a hand down his face. He closes the door. "The case Reid and Rossi left on? A guy walked into a police station in Pittsburgh and confessed to 37 murders. JJ…Jennifer…he claims he killed Amy."

JJ's vision tunnels until she can barely see his face. Blood is rushing through her head so fast she can't hear. She doesn't even register Morgan catching her as her legs give out.

"Garcia, call Emily."

Garcia just nods and spins around to grab her phone. "Em! Come! QUICK!"

Emily doesn't need to be told twice. She hurries as fast as her 25 weeks pregnant body can carry her. She bursts into Garcia's office to see JJ sitting in a chair, her head on her knees as Morgan tells her to just breathe.

"Jennifer? What the fuck?"

JJ slowly sits up, her face red and streaked with tears. "He…he said…he…" she starts to hyperventilate again.

Morgan rubs her head. "Easy, Jayje. I'll explain it."

JJ just nods. Morgan stands up and Emily takes his place, kneeling in front of her wife. Morgan explains what the team had been told that morning. Emily's eyes never stray from her wife, who pales as she hears the story once more. As it ends, JJ slowly looks up at her wife.

"Em…" she says weakly.

Emily pulls her close. "Oh, Jen, baby, I am so sorry. Honey, you know the man could be…be just a sick bastard doing this to fulfill some sick fantasy." JJ just nods. Emily looks up at Morgan. "I'm taking her home. Call us if—"

"NO!" JJ pulls away. "We should…we should go. We need to help them. They don't know her." She stands. "They won't know what to look for! They won't—"

"Jayje! Stop!" Morgan grabs her. "JJ, I am having them look at the other 36 cases first. Some of those have people convicted already. Some of the missing haven't been found dead or alive. And there was another suicide on the list. Garcia is pulling everything she can find on the _alleged_victims. Rossi and Reid will interview him. And you know Reid is not going to let this guy hurt you or your family. Trust them, Jennifer. Trust them."

JJ stares into Morgan's eyes, her hand playing with her necklace. "I…I do. We can't tell my parents. We can't…I can't do this to them. I can't give them hope that she…she didn't…I just can't."

Morgan nods. "I know. Jayje, go home. Hug Henry. Talk to Rocky. Hold Emily."

JJ tries to argue but doesn't know how. She knew she'd get no more work done that day. She knew all she would do is think about Amy; about those last days; about the signs she missed…or did she?

"You'll…you'll call if…"

Morgan nods. "You know I will."

JJ just nods and lets Emily lead her away. They gather their things and head for home. Emily drives for the first time in several weeks. She holds JJ's hand but isn't sure JJ even knows. Haunted blue eyes stare out at the road but are really hundreds of miles…and a lifetime…away.

* * *

"**Damn it, Jenny! MOM! Jenny tracked mud into my room AGAIN! The little brat won't stay out!"**

"**I'm NOT a BRAT!" JJ states petulantly.**

**Eight year old Jenny Jareau stands with her hands on her hips, glaring at her 13 year old sister. Amy glares back. Sandy Jareau sets down her red pen and walks out of the office she uses to grade papers.**

**"Girls! Enough! Jenny, did you go into Amy's room?"**

**JJ crosses her arms across her chest. "Maybe," she mutters.**

**Sandy raises an eyebrow. "Maybe? It's a yes or no question, Jennifer," she states warningly.**

**JJ sighs. "I just wanted to see her new boom box," she admits in a whisper.**

**Amy turns to her mother. "See! Tell the little snoop to stay out! I've got mud EVERYWHERE now!"**

**Sandy looks at Jenny, who is indeed a muddy mess. "Jenny, bath. Now. Amy, when she's clean she'll clean your carpets."**

**"NO!" JJ shouts.**

**"Young lady, you will clean them until they are spotless or you can forget about your soccer game on Saturday." She raises a finger as JJ goes to speak. "And say anything other than 'yes, ma'am' and you'll be off the team for good. Do you understand?"**

**JJ bites her lip. Amy can't help but grin, hoping the little runt will smart off again.**

**"Yes, ma'am," JJ mumbles and heads for the bathroom.**

**Sandy turns to Amy. "Amy, she wants to be just like you. She thinks the world of you. I know it's annoying but she'll grow out of it someday. And, someday, you may even like her."**

"**Hmph. Doubt it. She's an annoying little tomboy. She's always tracking mud everywhere."**

**"Yes, she's a tomboy. Maybe you forget you used to love to get muddy, too. She'll grow out of it, Amy. Just be patient."**

**Amy stomps back into her room. "Whatever."**

**From the bathroom, JJ had listened. She didn't mean to make Amy mad. Her sister just had a really cool new radio. It had _two_ cassette decks on it and could be taken anywhere if it had batteries in it! JJ had just wanted to look at it since Amy guards it like it's made of gold.**

"**She's just selfish," JJ mumbles to herself as she starts to get ready for a bath.**

* * *

"JENNIFER!"

JJ jumps. She stares into Emily's concerned eyes. She looks around and realizes they are in their driveway.

"We're home?"

Emily squeezes her wife's hand. "You've got me worried, Jen. Yes, we're home. Where were you?"

JJ looks out the window. "I was…in a memory." She smiles. "I was so good at pissing Amy off. Usually without even trying. But I loved her, Em. Even when she was getting me in trouble."

Emily smiles. "I'm pretty sure that's how siblings work."

JJ slowly turns and looks at her wife. "Do…do you ever wish you had a sibling?"

Emily shrugs. "Not so much anymore. When I was a kid, feeling so alone, I wished for a brother or sister, someone around my age who would be a constant among all the change."

"I know there were times Amy, Mark and I all wished we were only children," JJ says wistfully.

Emily grins. "The grass is always greener, right?"

"I guess." She sighs. "Do you know how many times I've asked what I missed? What I could have done to save her?"

"Jen, you were _11_," she says compassionately. "And even if you had been older, you would not have known what to look for until after you finished the courses that got you into the FBI Academy. Your head knows that. Make sure it tells your heart."

"Maybe."

JJ gets out of the car, her heart still not quite believing what her head is saying. Emily just sighs and follows her wife into the house. Francesca steps out of the play room frowning, then she smiles.

"Oh! It's you! I was worried about who—Jennifer, what is wrong?" she asks with concern.

Tears start down JJ's face again. She can't speak over the lump blocking her throat. Then the perfect balm for her heart is heard.

"MOMMY!"

Henry comes out of the playroom and runs right for his Mommy. She kneels down and scoops him into a big hug. She can't help but smile as he gives her a big kiss on the cheek. Emily steps up behind her wife, her hand caressing JJ's head. Francesca looks at Emily.

"Perché è lei che grida?" she asks with concern.*

"Dico subito," Emily promises.** She kneels down and gives Henry a kiss on the head. "Hi, Champ. How about you go with Francesca to get some lunch while I take Mommy upstairs, okay?"

Henry nods then throws himself at Emily for a big hug. She gladly accepts it then sets him down.

"Go on, son," she encourages.

Francesca calls him and they head into the kitchen, Alaska at their heels. JJ just watches him go.

"He…he looks like her. Sometimes…sometimes he even has these expressions that just make me see her," JJ whispers.

Emily runs her hand up and down JJ's arm. "I bet. He looks so much like you and you favored her a great deal."

"I swear, Em, if…if we have to hurt Mom and Dad for nothing I'll kill that bastard myself."

Emily nods. "I know, sweetheart. I know."

JJ turns to her. "I…I need a little time alone. Do you mind?"

Emily smiles and shakes her head. "Of course not. You know how to find me."

They share a kiss and then JJ heads upstairs. Emily watches her go and then heads into the kitchen to have lunch with Henry and Francesca.

* * *

**Translations thanks to Babylon Translator:**

***Why is she crying?**

****Tell you soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

JJ is pacing in the master bedroom. She wants to call Reid but knows he and Rossi aren't even in Pittsburgh yet. She stops and stares out the window at the backyard. A soccer ball sits in the middle of Henry's playground.

She smiles as a memory comes to her.

* * *

"**Come on, Amy! Pleeeeeeeease?" JJ whines.**

**"Fine, Jenny, I'll do it. But you owe me!"**

**The nine-year old nods her head. "I know! No problem! I promise!"**

"**So you'll do the dishes for me _all_ next week?"**

**JJ's smile fades. "All…_All_ week? But…I just need your help for, like, 2 hours!"**

"**Take it or leave it, Shrimp."**

**JJ stares at her sister. Someone had to go with her to the park or she couldn't go. Mark wasn't home. Their parents were busy. A bunch of kids who played in the soccer league were going to play a pick-up game. Amy grins, watching JJ try to figure out if 2 hours of fun was worth a week of dishwashing. Finally JJ sighs.**

**"Fine. Let me get my cleats."**

**Amy chuckles and raises her hands above her head. "SCORE!"**

**JJ rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Just don't go smooshing on that guy Jacob or I'll tell Mom."**

**Amy stops. "You know, Jenny, making threats is not the way to get what you want."**

**JJ bites her lip and just heads into her room to grab her cleats. She walks out and sees Amy still standing in the hallway. JJ rolls her eyes.**

**"Fine. I won't say anything if you go smooshing with him. It's gross anyway."**

**Amy grins. "Ten bucks says you'll think differently when you get older."**

**"Ugh! NO way!"**

**The two Jareau girls head for the park. Soon JJ is involved in a soccer game with kids of all ages. Amy stands on the sideline flirting with Jacob, who'd accompanied his little sister. Just when she thinks she might get to "smoosh" him, she hears JJ above the crowd.**

**"LET ME GO!"**

**Amy spins around. One of the older boys has her sister by the arm. Amy races out onto the field.**

**"HEY! Let her go!"**

**He shoves JJ to the ground. "Get lost, Spaz!"**

**Amy arrives as JJ scrambles to her feet.**

"**You're just mad a'cause you can't stop me from scoring. Not _my_ fault you suck!" JJ yells at him.**

**The boy raises his fist as if to punch her. Amy spins JJ around behind her and gets in the boys face. **

"**Punch her and I'll kick your balls so far up your ass you'll choke on them!" Amy threatens the boy.**

**He stares at her, wondering if she would really do it. JJ just stares at her sister's back, stunned that Amy would protect her this way. Finally one of the other boys grabs the angry guy.**

**"Leave 'em, man. The kid is just good. There are pro's that couldn't stop some of the shots she takes. JJ is just _that_ good!"**

**The boys take off. Amy turns and looks at her sister. "Are you okay, Jenny?"**

**JJ nod. "Yeah. He kinda hurt my arm."**

**Amy rolls her sister's sleeve up and sees the red mark where JJ's nemesis had grabbed her. "Damn. Mom's gonna kill me if that bruises."**

**JJ smiles. "Nah, I'll tell her how you stopped him from doing worse." She nudges her sister. "Thanks, Aim."**

**Amy pats her on the shoulder, smiling. "No problem, Shrimp. Come on, let's head home."**

**"Are you mad you didn't get to smoosh with Jacob?" JJ asks with concern.**

**Amy puts her arm around her little sister's shoulder. "Nope. I had something more important to do."**

**JJ smiles up at her sister as they make the walk home.**

* * *

JJ wipes the tears streaming down her cheeks. She turns and heads to her walk-in closet. She goes to one of the plastic storage bins tucked in the corner. Some just hadn't been unpacked yet. This one was not meant to be unpacked. She drags it out into the middle of the bedroom.

She paces around it a moment, then kneels down and pops the lid off. She pulls out her high school letter jacket, running her hand over the 4 Varsity soccer awards, the two State Champion patches, and the captain's star. There was a time when soccer was all that mattered. Well, soccer, grades and keeping her bisexuality secret.

"My way out," she says as she sets it aside. "My way to forget."

She digs down farther and finds the wooden memory box she is looking forward. Foam letters, now dry-rotting with age, tell the significance of the box: Best Big Sister Ever! JJ had made it when she was 11 for Amy's 16th birthday. Just a few months later…

"…you were gone, Amy. God, Amy, what happened? What the fuck happened to you?"

JJ opens the box and starts to flip through the pictures, ticket stubs, other mementos Amy had cared enough to store in there. JJ had gone through it once after Amy had been found but never again. Now…now she looks through it again, this time with a profiler's eyes.

"What did I miss, Amy? Why did you…or did you…shit…"

Tears blur her vision as she lifts up a picture showing her riding on Amy's back, chasing Mark with a water balloon. She remembered that day. Mark had been picking on JJ and kept climbing a tree where she couldn't get to him. Amy helped her even up the fight by suddenly appearing with the water balloons and offering a piggy-back ride to help chase him down.

"I loved you, Amy. I still do. What the hell happened to you? What happened to the girl in this picture?"

She sets the box back in the tub. She grabs the photo album in the bottom of it. She walks over and lies down on the bed, flipping through the pictures. JJ had put it together the Saturday after Amy's funeral. She had tracked down every picture she could find, placing them carefully on the pages in chronological order, resetting entire pages if she found one photo she had missed. She had worked on it for almost 16 hours without a break. Her mother had brought her food; her father had brought her a soda.

"Did I even eat or drink them? I know they brought them to me but did I even touch them? I was…obsessed with making this perfect." She wipes away a tear that drops onto the page. "Making it…it perfect since her life obviously wasn't."

She strokes a hand over a picture from Amy's Sweet 16. As she turns another page, Alaska stands up against the side of the bed. She looks at him. He tilts his head to the side, as if asking what's wrong. She can't help but smile.

"You really are a cute pup, aren't you."

His ears perk forward as he lets out a big yawn. JJ sighs.

"Don't tell Emily."

She leans over and pulls him up onto the bed. He cuddles up to her and rolls onto his back. She chuckles and starts to scratch his tummy. She finds that perfect spot and laughs as his back leg starts to shake. Finally she stops and just pulls him close. He buries his nose in the crook of her neck. She strokes him as he falls asleep.

Soon the emotions of the morning catch up to her and she follows him into slumber. When Emily pokes her head in to check on her wife she can't help but smile. She pulls out her phone and snaps a photo of JJ and Alaska cuddled up together on the bed.

She steps to the bed and looks at the photo album still lying there. Not wanting it to get damaged she moves it to the side table and leaves, letting JJ get some rest. If this bastard turned out to be telling the truth her wife won't be getting much sleep until the whole sordid tale is told.


	4. Chapter 4

Rossi and Reid get to Pittsburgh and immediately get to work reading and picking apart the confession. Case files are being sent from all over the state so they could review the evidence and even resubmit anything they can find for new scientific testing, including DNA where applicable. As they get going, they get a call from Morgan.

"You're on speaker, Bossman," Rossi tells him.

"First of all, Garcia is nearly finished with all the runs. You should have them within the hour."

"Good. Some of these cases are so far away they won't get their information to us until tomorrow at the earliest," Rossi says.

"I know. Hopefully Garcia's information will help you get moving." He pauses and sighs. "Secondly…JJ knows.'

"WHAT?" Reid exclaims angrily.

"She walked into Garcia's office just as Amy's background was finishing."

"Is she okay?" Rossi asks.

"She will be. Em took her home. She's a bit freaked out but who wouldn't be?"

"Morgan, if we have to move forward and speak to her parents, should she be with us?" Reid questions with concern.

Morgan sighs. "I think…I think she would need to be there as a witness, not as an agent. Her parents and brother will need her as much as she'll need them."

Rossi nods. "I agree. Look we're going to get going here. As soon as we know anything we'll be in touch."

"I know you two will work late on this; later than you should. Call me anytime," Morgan tells them.

"Will do."

Rossi disconnects and looks at Reid. "Are you going to be okay? I know she's more a sister to you than friend."

Reid nods. "She…she's always been there for me. It's my turn to be here for her."

"Hey, kid, if you feel a need to… 'forget'…tell me. I won't let you give in to that shit," Rossi says kindly.

Reid just nods. He had noticed the signs of Straus being drunk at work. Though he had no idea that Emily had mentioned it to Rossi, the genius finds it intriguing that the older man would be willing to help him with his substance issues while ignoring the fact that his girlfriend needed serious help. But that is something to be looked at later.

He opens up the first evidence box. A young woman, blonde hair, blue eyes, found raped and strangled. Several people had been questioned but no one had been arrested. Reid frowns.

"Rossi, this victim is blonde hair, blue eyes. A teenager."

Rossi looks up. "This one, too."

Reid picks up his phone and calls the Oracle of Quantico. "Garcia? Run a quick filter on the alleged victims for eye and hair color."

She gulps. "Let me guess…blue and blonde?"

"Yes," he says with regret.

"Okay. Should be pretty quick with such specific para-and it's done. Holy Swedish Supermodel, Boy Wonder. 37 of 37 with those combinations." She hears the pause on the other end. "Oh, God…does this mean…mean he really did it?"

Rossi shakes his head. "No, Garcia, not necessarily. He could have gotten that information through the Freedom of Information act by requesting autopsies and trial transcripts. He could have seen pictures in obituaries. We have no idea how long he's been searching for the right combination of supposed victims."

"Oh, right. I should have thought of that. I guess I'm still a little upset. Jayje hates me right now."

Reid sighs. "She doesn't, Garcia. She couldn't."

"Maybe. Look, I'm nearly done with the backgrounds. Let me get back at them so you all have all you need."

"Okay. Take care, Garcia."

"You, too, my friends."

The two agents get back to work. It was going to be a long preliminary investigation before they can even interview the suspect. Time was of the essence now that they knew the turmoil JJ is going through.

* * *

A hand strokes the hair off JJ's forehead. She slowly opens her eyes and looks up at her best friend. She sighs.

"I'm an ass, Pen," JJ whispers. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you."

Garcia smiles. "No, you're not an ass. I should have locked the door so I would have heard you typing on the touch pad. I could have turned off that damn screen before you got in."

JJ sits up and takes Garcia's hand. "Did you get Reid and Rossi what they need?"

Garcia nods. "Yep. For now. Right now they are looking at that and case files from all over Pennsylvania as they arrive. They don't plan to talk to Thedoroski until they know as much as they can about the cases, including any hold back info for crimes that are unsolved."

JJ nods. "Yeah. Makes sense." She stretches. "Where's Emily?"

"She went to Dec's game. She wanted to keep things as normal for him as possible right now since all sorts of Hell could be drummed up by this case." Garcia smiles. "Plus, she showed me you were in good hands. Or rather, good paws."

JJ frowns in confusion. Garcia holds up her cell phone and shows JJ the picture Emily had taken. JJ smiles and shrugs.

"What can I say? He's a cute and cuddly puppy." She stares at the ceiling for a minute then reaches over and grabs the photo album off the nightstand. She opens it to one of her favorite pictures. She turns it so Garcia can see it. "This was me on my first travel soccer team. We won a huge tournament the first time we ever played in it. Amy was so happy for me."

Garcia can't help but tear up at the picture of Amy and Mark holding JJ up on their shoulders. JJ is happily holding her trophy. All 3 Jareau's are laughing and happy.

"How old were you?"

"I was 10, Mark was 12 and Amy was 15."

"I guess she wasn't an athlete?"

JJ chuckles. "Not when mud stopped being fun and started being yucky. She played t-ball and softball until she was about 9." She flips back to the last team picture Amy had taken. "She always said I got the athletic genes and she got the designer jeans."

Garcia laughs. "I think I'd have liked her."

JJ nods. "Yeah, I think you would. Oh, we could fight but…but I always knew if I needed her she'd be there for me." Her tears start again. "When I found out I was pregnant I wished I could call her. I was so confused and I knew she could have helped me. I always have a talk with her last school picture when I go home. I hope she can hear me."

"She does, Jayje. She does."

JJ smiles. "Did you know Emily had a talk with her, too? After she proposed?"

Garcia smiles. "She did?"

JJ nods, wiping away her tears. "Said she had to make sure Amy approved of Em marrying her little sister."

Garcia wraps an arm around JJ's shoulders. "I'm sure she did."

JJ chuckles. "Trust me, if she hadn't, we'd have known. Emily's pants would have ripped up her butt or something on the wedding day."

Garcia laughs. "Yeah, I can see a sister doing that to someone she doesn't approve of. Tell me more about her," she pats the album. "About this. I want to know her."

JJ scoots closer and flips back to the beginning of the album and takes her best friend on a journey through her sister's life. Just before they get to the end, JJ stops. She slowly turns to Garcia.

"What sort of bitch am I that I'm sitting here _hoping_ my sister was murdered? How fucked up is that, Pen? I'm going to burn in Hell for these thoughts!"

Sobs wrack JJ's body. Garcia pulls her close, letting her best friend's emotions just flow over her.

"Oh, Jayje, I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through. But, honey, suicide is…it leaves us feeling helpless; like we failed our loved ones. Murder is someone else's fault. Who wouldn't prefer that if you have to lose someone you love. You, Jennifer Prentiss, are not going to Hell. You're just going through it right now, my sweet."

JJ can't speak. She just lets Garcia hold her as they both cry for a girl who died way too soon, no matter what or who the cause.

* * *

Emily smiles as Declan races over to her, Henry and Francesca. He had played an outstanding game and his team was now on the way to the semi-finals of the Virginia Association of Independent Schools championship.

"Did you see that last play, Emily?" he asks excitedly.

She smiles. "I sure did. That was a heck of a reach, Dec. I had no idea you could extend your arms like Inspector Gadget."

He laughs, happily. On their opponents last chance to score he had somehow managed to extend his stick just far enough to deflect the ball. His team had recovered it and counter-attacked, which allowed them to score and go up by 2. It was the final margin of victory.

"DEEK!"

Declan smiles at Henry. "Hey, Henry. Glad you could make it." He looks at the nanny. "You, too, Francesca." He looks back at Emily. "Is JJ working?"

Emily sighs. "Not exactly. How about you go to your team meeting, get changed and then we can maybe talk in your dorm common room?"

He pales. "Is…is she okay?" he whispers.

Emily takes him by the shoulders and looks into his eyes. "Yes, Dec, she's fine. We just have a case, sort of, that could affect her." She sighs. "Geez, that sounded crappy. Look, just know she's okay. I'll meet you at your dorm, okay?"

He nods, his face full of worry. As he walks off, Emily runs a hand down her face. "I screwed that up," she mutters.

Francesca lays a hand on her arm. "He will be okay, cara."

"Not if I keep talking like that, he won't."

Francesca smiles. "He is a smart boy who loves Jennifer very much. Just be honest with him, Emily."

Emily nods. "Right. Honest. I'll see you two at home." She gives Henry a hug and kiss. "Go home and make Mommy smile, Champ, okay?"

He grins and nods. Emily smiles and kisses him once more. Forty-five minutes later she stands as Declan enters his dorm common area. They step outside to a bench where they have a little more privacy.

"She's okay, right?" Declan asks immediately.

Emily smiles. "Physically she's fine." She blows out a breath. "Dec, has she told you about Amy?"

"Her sister? Some. She died young, right?"

Emily nods. "Yes. She…she committed suicide."

Declan pales. "Oh."

"But now some guy has claimed he killed her."

"Whoa," he whispers, his eyes getting wide.

"Yeah. Rossi and Reid are in Pittsburgh looking into his claim, as well as other murders he's trying to claim."

"So, she didn't kill herself? Jennifer should be happy," he reasons.

Emily shrugs. "We…we don't know if he is lying or not. He—"

"But why would someone lie about killing someone if they didn't?" Declan asks.

"Some people are mentally ill and really believe they did it. Some people want to be famous, no matter what for. Others enjoy the pain it causes families when the story is debunked."

"How do you debunk it?"

Emily smiles and ruffles his hair. "You always ask good questions, Declan." He grins as she continues. "We debunk it by looking through the original case files, we compare that information to the confession, and then we interview the suspect, looking for tells or inconsistencies. That's what Rossi and Reid are doing now with help from the police and Garcia. If…if they find any validity in his claim then the rest of us will head up there. Morgan and I as agents," she sighs, "and Jen as a witness."

"Whoa."

Emily nods. "Yeah. So, we wanted you to know what's going on so that if Jen gets distant with you or…or doesn't respond to emails or text messages you know it's not about you. Her sister's death really shocked her family; especially Jen who was just 11 when it happened. This guy's claims, whether true or not, are really messing her up."

"Do her parents and brother know?"

"No. We won't tell them until we know one way or the other."

He nods. "That's good for them. But it's sad Jennifer doesn't have them to talk to about this."

Emily smiles and wraps an arm around his shoulder. "You're right, Declan."

"Is…is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well, you could keep winning. That will make her smile," Emily tells him.

He grins. "I'll do my best. Emily, thanks for telling me. I…I would have worried it was about…you know…"

Emily nods. "I know. That's why we wanted to tell you." She glances at her watch. "Okay, young man, you have study hall right now. Better get in there."

He nods as they stand. "Thanks again for telling me, Emily. And thanks for coming to my game. Tell Jennifer I love her."

Emily nods. "I will."

"I love you, too, Emily."

She gives him a hug. "We both love you, too, Dec."

She watches as he heads back inside for team study hall. She takes a deep breath and heads home to see how her wife is doing.


	5. Chapter 5

When Emily pulls in she sees Garcia is still there. She is glad. It had only been when the analyst showed up that she had been comfortable leaving her wife. Inside, she finds Francesca feeding Henry. She smiles at the nanny.

"Give me a minute to check on Jen then I'll take over Champ so you can be done for the day."

Francesca nods. "No problem."

Emily nods. "It is." She sighs. "Did you really understand what you were getting into by being our nanny?"

Francesca chuckles. "Emily, your parents were not exactly good at getting done on time and, to be honest, they were not always…how do you say…apologizing for it?"

Emily smiles. "Apologetic."

Francesca nods. "Yes, apologetic. You and Jennifer not only pay me for the extra time but also treat me with much respect and go out of your way to make it up to me with more than money when your job takes more time than expected. And you were very honest with me about the way the job could affect your time home." She lays a hand on Emily's arm. "If what that bad man says is true, I will go with you to Pittsburgh. Jennifer will need her Henry but also her whole family will need someone to take care of them."

Emily shakes her head. "Francesca, that's not your job."

Francesca smiles. "It is _family_, Emily. Not a job. I am not asking, I am telling."

Emily stares at her a minute then laughs. "I won't win, will I?"

"No," she states with finality.

Emily pulls her into a hug. "Thank you. And you can bet, whether you like it or not, you _will_ be compensated if you go up there with us."

Francesca just chuckles as Emily heads up to check on JJ and Garcia. As she nears the door, she is glad to hear JJ laughing. She pokes her head into the room.

"Is this a private party or can anyone attend?"

JJ smiles, her eyes red-rimmed from crying. "I think we've got room for one more."

"Well, one and a half," Garcia jokes.

Emily grins and sits down beside her wife. "Declan sends his love and says he'll keep winning to make sure you have something to smile about."

JJ smiles and leans into her wife's hug. "He's a good kid."

Emily nods. "Yep." She leans back. "Jen, if we have to go up there, Francesca says she's going with us. You know you won't be able to be part of the investigation, right?"

JJ sighs. "Yeah…I guess."

"She said you'll need Henry and your family will need someone to take care of them if we have to question them. She says it's her."

"God, I love her so much," JJ admits, her eyes tearing up again.

Emily kisses her temple. "I know, baby. And she loves you, too. You've got a heck of a lot of people in your corner to get you through this."

"I…I know," JJ croaks out as her wife holds her and her best friend just rubs her arm. JJ's mind wanders back to her original support group.

* * *

"**OH! MY! GOD!" JJ screams excitedly. "AMY! It's just like yours only purple!"**

**Amy smiles and nods as she looks at her green sweater. "Yeah! Cool!"**

**The 4 year old and 9 year old were still at an age when matching sweaters were not a cause for embarrassment. JJ looks at her mother.**

**"When Amy wears hers to school can I wear mine to the sitter's house so we'll both be wearing them?"**

**Sandy nods. "Of course, honey. I'm glad you like them."**

**Sandy and Alan loved all three of their kids. Sure, there were days when it was World War III but for the most part they got along. They could only hope it always stayed that way for the siblings.**

**Mark rolls his eyes. "Geez, Jenny, it's not like anyone will know you've got a sweater like Amy's. What's the big deal?"**

**JJ frowns at her brother. "It's just cool, Mark."**

**Amy grins at her sister. "He's just jealous he didn't get a pink one."**

**Mark gets mad. "Am not!"**

**"Are too!"**

"**Am NOT!"**

**"Are TOO!"**

"**AM NOT!"**

**"Are—"**

"**ENOUGH!" Alan shouts. "Kids, it's Christmas Day and not too late to call Santa back to pick up the rest of your gifts."**

**Amy rolls her eyes. "Oh, Dad, Santa doesn't even exist!" she blurts without thinking.**

**Silence greets that statement. Amy blushes as she realizes what she's said. She slowly turns and looks at a devastated JJ.**

"**I…I mean…I just…I…" Amy stutters.**

**Mark throws a balled up piece of wrapping paper at his older sister. "Yes, he does! Why do you always have to try to scare Jenny?" he asks in defense of his little sister, who still firmly believes in Santa Claus.**

**JJ turns to her father. "Daddy?" she asks, her voice wavering.**

**He smiles at her. "Jenny, who knew you wanted the Barbie sports car? I sure didn't." He looks at Sandy. "Did you know?"**

**She shakes her head. "No clue. I saw a car on the box and thought maybe Santa's elves had made a mistake and given you a giant Matchbox car like your brother's little ones."**

**JJ turns to look at Mark, who nods. "Yeah, me, too."**

**She turns to Amy, who shrugs. "I…I thought you wanted GI Joes. Shows Santa knows you better than me. Sorry I was a creep and said that, Jenny."**

**JJ slowly nods. "Okay. But you better hope he forgets by next year or you won't get nothin' but coal."**

**Amy grins. "Yeah, I know."**

**Sandy and Alan sigh in relief. Hopefully for one more year their house would have the wonder and magic of Santa Claus in it.**

* * *

JJ reaches for the photo album again. She opens it to the Christmas that had invaded her memory. She shows Emily and Garcia the picture and tells them the story.

"Did you still believe next year?" Emily asks.

JJ chuckles. "I…was questioning it. I told the store Santa something I knew I told no one else."

"Did you get it?" Garcia asks.

"Nope. But in hindsight, I'm not sure it was a good test," she admits.

"Oh, why not?" Emily asks.

JJ grins. "I asked for a little sister or brother so I didn't have to be the baby any more."

The other two women chuckle. JJ strokes a hand down Amy's cheek. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"I hate not knowing. For so long the 'not knowing' was why she did it. I finally accepted I may never know and now…now the 'not knowing' is did she or didn't she. I'm not sure I'm strong enough for this one," she whispers.

Emily kisses her on the cheek and stares into her eyes. "Jennifer, you are stronger than you know. You can take this because it's not just about you. You will be strong for your parents, for Mark and for Amy. You will be strong because that's who you are."

JJ stares into the confident brown eyes a second then leans forward and captures her wife in a deep kiss. "Thank you."

Emily smiles. "My pleasure, Mrs. Prentiss."

JJ leans her forehead against her wife's, drawing in her strength. After a couple minutes the three women head downstairs for dinner before Garcia has to head home.

* * *

At 10 p.m. that night JJ's phone rings as she moves the box of memories back into her closet. She knows the ringtone and her heart skips a beat.

"Spence?" she answers warily.

"Hey, Jayje, how you doing?"

She takes a deep breath. "Been better, been worse."

"I bet. I just wanted to update you. So far a lot of what he's said matches the trial transcripts."

"What about holdback evidence?" she presses.

Reid rubs his forehead. "Please keep in mind we've only been able to see the full case files on 4 cases so far, none of which are Amy's."

"Spence…" she says threateningly.

He exhales slowly. "Some matches, some misses. Nothing to make us decide one way or the other."

"Shit," she mutters.

"JJ, I swear to you, as soon as we even think we know, I will call you," he vows.

She nods, even though he can't see it. "I know. Thanks, Spence. Get some sleep."

"I will. I love you, you know?"

She smiles. "I know. Love you, too."

She hangs up and moves to the window. She stares down at the backyard, the security lights bathing the play area in dim light. Yes, she had one heck of a support group; a heck of a family.

But it will always feel like on major piece is missing.

"I miss you so much, Amy," she whispers into the night.


	6. Chapter 6

"_How could you doubt me, Jenny? Geez, you know me better than this! How could you think I killed myself? I thought you were a fucking FBI agent."_

JJ stares at her sister. Amy is furious. And still 16. JJ is grown-up. But the agent is not paying attention to the strange inconsistencies, just the fury in her sister's face.

"_Amy, we were told you—" she tries to explain._

"_THEY LIED! And you just…just took my stuff and didn't care! You and Mark took my stuff because you were jealous of me!"_

"_NO! God, Amy, we wanted you BACK! We didn't want your stuff! We wanted YOU!" JJ insists._

_Amy steps closer, her eyes literally alight with flame. "Liar! You let him get away with murder, Jenny. You didn't stop him. You save others but couldn't save me. I am…I was your sister. You took my life away, Jenny. You took my stuff, you made people believe bad things about me, and you took my life. Now…Now I take what matters most to you!"_

_Suddenly Amy is far away…with Henry in her hands._

_"HENRY! NO!"_

_"MOMMY!" he screams in fear._

_JJ starts to run after her sister and son. No matter how fast she runs it is like she is in a sea of molasses; her legs just won't go faster. She screams for him, tears streaming down her cheeks._

_"HENRY! AMY, PLEASE! NO!"_

_"MOMMY!"_

_"HEEEEEEEEENRYYYYYYYYYYYY!"_

* * *

"JEN!"

JJ shoots up in bed. The lights are on and Emily is shaking her.

"Jennifer, it's a nightmare. Just a fucking nightmare!" Emily insists.

The blonde woman is shaking, tears soaking her face. Her blue eyes are dilated in terror and Emily can see she doesn't quite know where she is.

"Jennifer, listen to me: you are in our bedroom, in our house. Henry is safe in his room, sweetheart. I swear."

"H—Henry?" she says weakly.

"Yes, baby. Henry is safe. Look into my eyes, baby." Blue eyes finally focus on brown. "I'm going to get him, okay? Stay here, Jennifer. Please."

JJ nods, seeing the fear in Emily's eyes. Emily slides off the bed and hurries to Henry's room. JJ takes the time to wipe her face and try to calm her still racing heart.

"I'm safe. I'm in our home. With Henry and Emily and Rocky. Amy doesn't hate me. She didn't take him. I'm safe. So is Henry. We're all safe," she keeps reminding herself.

In Henry's room, Emily had lifted up the sleeping boy. He barely stirs. Grabbing his blanket and his teddy bear she heads back to the master bedroom. She breathes a sigh of relief when she sees JJ is slightly calmer.

JJ reaches for their son and Emily hands him over, smiling. "He's safe, Jen. Will just be a little confused when he wakes up here tomorrow."

JJ gives a slight smile as she holds her son closely. Emily steps into the bathroom and gets JJ a glass of water. She sits down beside her wife and son.

"Have a drink, baby."

JJ nods and takes a long drink. When she is done, Emily sets the rest on JJ's nightstand. She runs a hand over her wife's leg.

"Want to tell me about it?"

JJ sighs. "Not really. I know it will help but…I'm not sure I can."

"Okay. You were screaming and crying for Henry. And you also mentioned Amy. I can probably guess you were putting yourself on a mental guilt trip."

JJ nods. "Yeah." She buries her face in Henry's shoulder, tears in her eyes. "I couldn't catch up to them, Em. I swear I tried."

Emily strokes a hand down JJ's face. "I know you did, Jen." She stares into her wife's eyes. "You were 11, Jen. You couldn't have saved her, from either herself or this guy making the claim he killed her. You don't deserve to carry that guilt."

JJ leans her head into Emily's hand. "Keep telling me that?"

Emily smiles and nods. "As many times and as often as you need, baby."

JJ cuddles with Henry. Emily sees her wife is starting to even out emotionally. She turns off the lights and crawls into bed, lying on her right side so she can keep a hand on JJ, reminding her wife that she is not alone and is very, very loved.

* * *

The next morning JJ wakes up alone. Well, she has no people in bed with her. The motor she hears beside her ear is Sergio, who is sharing her pillow. The immovable force beside her is Alaska. She smiles as she strokes both of them.

"Did Mama send you two in here to keep me company?"

Alaska wags his tail as Sergio just stretches and goes back to sleep. As JJ pets Alaska, her mind wanders back to the nightmare that had tormented her the night before. She looks at Sergio and uses her other hand to scratch his chin.

"Your mama is an amazing woman, Serg. She settles me and Henry without even breaking a sweat. She just has to be there."

Alaska had slowly crawled higher in the bed, getting closer to Sergio. The cat's eyes open wide and his purring stops. JJ chuckles.

"Um, Alaska, if you get any higher you're going to get your nose swiped again."

She can't help but chuckle as Alaska rolls to his back, offering his tummy to JJ and Sergio. The young cat stares at him for a second…then POUNCES on Alaska's stomach! JJ can't help but laugh as Alaska yelps and flips over as Sergio tears out of the room. Poor Alaska looks like he has NO idea what just hit him. JJ pulls the pup closer.

"It's okay, big guy. You two are already buddies. Sergio just doesn't want you to forget who is boss."

Alaska licks JJ's chin. She nuzzles into his neck and rubs his tummy. She hears the sound of a picture being snapped. She looks up to see a grinning Emily.

"I just want more proof of who it is letting the puppy on the bed," she teases.

JJ frowns. "You didn't put him up here?"

Emily shakes her head. "Of course not. He jumped up there on his own."

JJ looks at the pup that she had picked up last night. "Why you little creep. You didn't need me to pick you up!"

Alaska just pants happily. Emily walks to JJ's side of the bed and puts a cup of coffee on the nightstand. She sits down and strokes JJ's cheek.

"How you feeling?"

JJ sighs. "Okay. Um, Em, where's Henry?" she asks nervously.

"He's downstairs with Uncle Derek."

JJ frowns. "Derek? Why is he here? Is there news?"

"Baby, you know I'd have told you already if there was. He was just worried about you."

JJ smiles. "Oh. Did you tell him about—"

"Of course not, Jen. He may ask how you slept but it's your place not mine to tell him about the nightmare."

JJ leans her head against Emily's. "Thank you, sweetheart. Mind if I shower before coming down?"

"Of course not. We'll have breakfast waiting for you."

The two share a kiss and Emily heads back downstairs. JJ stands and glances towards her closet. The plastic container in it calls to her like "The Tell-Tale Heart." She ignores it for now and heads into the bathroom. Yes, she would pull it out again later. But right now…now she would show Morgan she is okay. If the team goes, she will be going, too. And she was going to fight to go as an agent, not a victim.

* * *

"Well, good morning, Queenie. Nice of you to join us," Morgan teases JJ.

She frowns and looks at the clock for the first time. It is just after 11 now. "Oh my God! I had no idea!"

Emily just chuckles. She can't remember the last time JJ had slept in until 10:30. Obviously her wife had needed the rest.

"MOMMY!" Henry calls happily.

She smiles at him. "Hey, Little Man." JJ leans over and kisses him. She looks at Emily. "What time did you two get up?"

"Well, someone had a wet diaper about 7. And no, Morgan, it wasn't me," she states, stopping his joke. "And I was a bit hungry so we got up, had breakfast and made coffee. When Morgan got here at 10:15 I decided I should probably check on you and bring you a cup of your elixir of life."

JJ grins and leans on the counter. "Good call on that one."

Morgan walks over and leans on the island in front of her. "Jayje, how are you doing?"

JJ sighs. "Honestly? I really don't know yet. I do know I'm not going up there as just a witness. I'm not a victim I—"

"Whoa! Stop right there, JJ. You know you can't go as an agent."

"BULLSHI—" she manages, just barely, to stop before cussing in front of Henry. She sighs. "Derek, I can help investigate his claims. I'll leave Amy's case alone. Please!"

He takes her shoulders in his hands, staring into her eyes. "JJ, you know in your head that you can't touch this case as an investigator. If he is guilty, his attorneys will use your involvement to say you framed him just to get a better answer to your sister's death. And if he discredits one case, he'll discredit them all. You know this in your head, even if your heart won't accept it."

JJ's eyes are filled with tears. Emily had stayed to the side. This was a boss to subordinate talk, not friend to friend. Personally, she is torn about which person she supports. She turns to help Henry clean up his hands after a mid-morning banana. JJ slowly turns her head, and sees her wife is ignoring the confrontation in their kitchen.

"Emily?" JJ asks.

She doesn't need to say the words. Emily strokes a hand over Henry's head. She slowly turns and stares at her wife. She then looks to her best friend. Personally she can't win no matter what she does. She sighs.

"Jen, he's right. Morgan, she's right, too. This case just sucks. Jen needs to be there to talk to her parents and brother. She will help them pull out the pertinent memories. But Rossi should walk them through the questions, not Jen." She looks back to her wife. "And, Jen, you can't touch the case other than being there for your parents, helping them remember the details. Morgan's right, he'll get off if his attorney can even convince one juror you tainted the case."

JJ turns away from them and stares out the window over-looking the backyard. Morgan looks to Emily who just nods. She recognizes the resignation in JJ's stance.

"Derek," JJ says quietly, "do you think he did it?"

Morgan shrugs. "I don't know, JJ. I just don't know. Rossi and Reid worked until nearly 2 in the morning and were back at it by 7. They will wear themselves out to give us an idea one way or the other by tomorrow."

JJ turns around and stares at her friend…her temporary boss. She manages a small smile. "Can't blame me for trying, right?"

Morgan grins. "Of course not. I swear, Jayje, I wish I could have given you the green light to work this. But no matter if he's a killer or just a sicko making false claims, I want him to pay."

JJ nods. "I know. Thank you, Derek."

He pulls her into a hug. "Any time, Jayje."

* * *

When Henry lays down for a nap at 1, Emily decides she needs one, too. JJ wanders the house, trying to ignore the magnetic pull of the tub in her closet. She finds herself in Rocky's room. She sits down in the glide rocker, hugging a Piglet plush toy.

"Amy, I hope you know I am praying that bastard killed you because I just don't want to believe you killed yourself. I wish I could go back in time and just…just save you from whoever did it." She wipes away a tear. "I keep looking back at the days leading up to…to your death with a profiler's eyes. What did I miss? What did I not know to look for then that I know to look for now?" She fingers the necklace she wears. "I didn't press you about why you gave this to me. Was Jacob giving you a necklace so you wouldn't need this? Did you see a different one you wanted to buy with your birthday money from Grandma? Or…or was this a…a final gift to me? Why the hell didn't I push you about why you gave this to me?"

She stands and walks over to the space that will eventually hold the crib Elizabeth is buying. She imagines a little girl, dark hair and eyes like ice lying there staring up at her.

"I'm naming my daughter after you, Amy. Roxanne Amy Prentiss. We'll call her Rocky." She chuckles. "Actually, we already do. God, if she's even half as tough as Emily she'll be a force to be reckoned with. Just like you, Amy."

JJ closes her eyes, remembering a time Amy had surprised both her and Mark.

* * *

"**Mark, you gotta tell Mom and Dad."**

**"NO! What the heck will they do, Jenny?"**

**JJ shrugs, scared for her brother. "I…I don't know! But fighting that bully Donnie isn't the answer!"**

**"Why not?"**

**JJ rolls her eyes. "Well for one thing, he's twice as big as you. And secondly, you don't know _how_ to fight!"**

**"I do, too!" The 13 year old boy insists.**

**"Since when?" The 11 year old asks.**

"**I just DO!"**

"**No, you don't, Mark," Amy says, suddenly appearing.**

**Mark spins towards his older sister. "Butt out, Amy!"**

"**No. Mark, I'm not going to let you get your ass kicked by Donnie. He picks on kids smaller than him because he's a coward and wimp."**

**"So are you going to fight him, then? Great! My sister will fight my battles and I'll get my ass kicked by _everyone_, not just Donnie," Mark laments.**

**Amy grins. "I'm not going to fight him. Neither are you. Jacob and his friends are going to take care of him."**

**Mark frowns. "Jacob and his friends? You mean from the football team?"**

**Amy nods. "Yep."**

**"Why?"**

**"They're tired of him, too. A couple of the guys have little brothers and sisters that got picked on by that jerk, too." She puts her hands on Mark's shoulders. "Do me a favor, Mark. Please don't meet up with Donnie to fight him, okay? I don't want to see you get hurt."**

**Mark stares at her a second then grins. "Are you the same sister that last week told me to take a long walk off a short pier?"**

**Amy grins. "I'm allowed to pick on you. No one else is."**

**He smiles. "Right. I forgot."**

**"Come on, guys, let's go home," Amy says to her siblings.**

**Two days later Donnie had shown up to school with a cast on his leg, a broken nose, 2 black eyes, and stitches in his cheek. He claimed a bike accident but rumor was Jacob and 4 guys from the football team had given him an attitude adjustment. And since Donnie stopped picking on kids smaller than him it apparently worked.**

* * *

"That was just a few months before…before you were gone, Amy. What the hell did we miss with you?"

JJ can't wait any longer. She heads to her closet, thankful for its size as she closes the door and turns on the light so she won't disturb Emily. She once more pulls out the memory box, studying each piece of history within it. Amy hadn't had it long so a lot of what is in there had to be from the months before her death. As JJ comes to a movie ticket stub she suddenly stops.

"The Omni? That was the multiplex in Pittsburgh."

She can't make out the name of the movie her sister had seen but the fact that her sister had snuck into "the city" to see a movie adds an angle she didn't think anyone knew about. Maybe she met the killer there. Maybe he just saw her there. Maybe—

"Jen?"

JJ starts and turns. She hadn't heard Emily open the door. She holds up the ticket stub.

"The Omni!" she states.

Emily frowns in confusion. "The what?"

"The Omni. It was a multiplex movie theatre in Pittsburgh. We weren't allowed to go there without Mom and Dad. This is dated the weekend before she died but I can't tell what movie it was."

Emily walks over and kneels down beside her wife. She stares into hopeful eyes and pulls out her phone.

"Reid? Check evidence logs for ticket stubs to the Omni Theater in Pittsburgh. Maybe witness statements, too." She listens a second. "Jen has some of Amy's things, including a box of mementos. There is a stub in there from the weekend before she died but she wasn't allowed to be there without her parents." She listens and nods. "I know, Reid. But he could have seen her there and even followed her home if she snuck over there with friends. Get Garcia to run employee records from that time." She nods. "I will. I'll bag it now and anything else she has here that could help." She smiles. "Thanks, Reid."

She pockets her phone and looks at JJ. "I'm going to bag it and tag it as evidence, just in case. We need to call Morgan over and go through all this with you, just in case." She raises a hand to stop JJ's protest. "If anything else can be used against the suspect we have to do it by the book. You know that."

JJ sighs and nods. "I know. Em…thank you."

Emily smiles. "No need to thank me, Mrs. Prentiss."

JJ smiles and gives Emily a kiss. Emily convinces her wife to leave the box alone until Morgan arrives. For an hour the three of them go through the memory box carefully. When they finish JJ frowns.

"I…I used to have her diary. But it's not in here now." She looks through the storage tub again but it's not there. "What the hell?"

"Maybe you packed it in another box when you moved," Morgan suggests.

JJ slowly shakes her head. "No. This box…it doesn't get unpacked and it traveled with me, not the movers."

"When was the last time you saw the diary?" Emily asks.

JJ thinks a moment. She looks over at her letter jacket. "I put that in here when I graduated from Pitt. I wanted these things with me when I did my grad school at Georgetown since I was going so far from home. I…I needed them. Her diary was in there then."

"Did you have roommates when you were in grad school?"

JJ laughs to hide her unease. "Who didn't? But they wouldn't have messed with this. Why would they? There's nothing of value in here and everything was still neat and tidy inside. Someone just stealing from me wouldn't have cared about making it look neat."

Emily swallows before asking the next question. "Could your parents or Mark have taken it?"

JJ slowly shakes her head. "No…I mean…I don't think so…shit…" She looks at Morgan. "Should I call them?"

He shakes his head. "Not yet. They'd want to know why and we don't want to mess with their emotions. Hell, Jayje, I hate that we're playing with yours. I hope you know that."

She smiles. "I know, Morgan. I really do." She runs her hand over face, wondering where the diary had gone. JJ could do nothing now but wait for Reid and Rossi to call.


	7. Chapter 7

At 1 p.m. on Sunday, Reid and Rossi carefully stack files on an interview table. The older man looks at the younger one.

"Ready?"

Reid sighs. "Not really. You?"

Rossi bites his lip a moment then shakes his head. "Don't think anything could prepare us for this one."

Reid nods in agreement. Rossi walks over and leans out the door, speaking to the officer outside of it.

"Bring him in."

The officer nods and goes to fetch Thedoroski. Five minutes later a small, unassuming man is led into the room.

Reid studies him. Brown hair and brown eyes; small nose; what some might call a pouty mouth; high cheekbones. He could be considered almost feminine in appearance, which would have been a calming factor for teen girls. He isn't gorgeous or ugly. He just…is. Scarily, that makes him a perfect predator.

Rossi sits at the table as Reid stands behind the video camera they will be using. Thedoroski smiles at them.

"Hello, Detectives."

Rossi raises an eyebrow. "It's agent and doctor. I'm Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi; this is SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. I understand you have already had your rights read to you. As a formality, we're going to read them to you again."

"Of course, Det—uh, Agent Rossi. Or do I call you David?"

"Agent Rossi is perfect," Rossi tells him. It bugs the older man that he has yet to get a hunch about the man's honesty.

Reid steps forward and re-Mirandizes Thedoroski. The man just smiles and agrees to his rights. For the camera and on paper he refuses his right to council. This more than anything bothers both agents. Still…they need to push forward. Rossi picks up the first file.

"Samantha Kaplan, age 19. Tell me about her."

She was allegedly Thedoroski's first kill. She would be burned in his memory. All the rest would have been measured up against her, trying to give him the same thrill her death had. He'd have compared her death to the others as he worked out what gave him the best thrill, the most power over life and death.

He may not have known the name but the girls face lit up his eyes with lust. It was all Reid could do not to punch the man.

Rossi doesn't miss the erotic flicker in Thedoroski's eyes as he describes in minute detail the mental and physical torture he had put the young woman through. He even mentions a piece of evidence that had never been released to the public: a small locket had been taken off of her charm bracelet.

Rossi finishes making notes about the case and lifts the next one.

* * *

When they finally take a break at 5:30 they have gone through 5 cases. The two men pace in the conference room they had taken over, neither speaking just…lost in their thoughts.

Reid finally sits down and looks up at the older man. "He's guilty, isn't he?"

Rossi slowly nods. "Most likely. At least of those 5 cases. There's still plenty more to get through."

"We need the team, Rossi. Well, those that can help. We need to ask about Amy soon."

Rossi nods. "I…I know."

Reid rubs his face. "Ask him about The Omni. It may be nothing or it may be a lead. But we know for sure it never got into the evidence files since it was just discovered."

Rossi flips through the files until he finds Amy's. He makes a note on his list of questions to ask about the theatre. So far there had been no other mention of the place. Garcia had gone in on Saturday to run employment records of the establishment to see if Thedoroski's name came up. It hadn't but he could have just been a patron out hunting victims.

* * *

At 9:30 the next morning the three men are again in the interrogation room. Rossi walks the confessed killer through 4 more cases before getting to the one that means the most to the two agents.

"Amy Jareau, age 16. Remember her?" Rossi places Amy's last school photo on the table.

Thedoroski smiles, reaching for the picture. "She was beautiful."

Rossi rolls his eyes and as he had done each time, takes the picture back. "You say that about all of them. It's getting boring. Prove to me you killed her."

Thedoroski sulks a moment, then starts to speak. "She was at the movies with a bunch of friends. I could tell by the way they scanned the people coming in they had snuck away from some Podunk town to visit the new multiplex." He sighs in contentment. "She was just so pretty. She was wearing her boyfriend's letter jacket but was flirting with some other boy. At first it made me sick but then I realized she was just doing it so she could hide behind him and his friends. She had recognized someone coming in the doors. Once she and her friends were in the clear she ditched the guy." He chuckles. "She was so smart. I just had to have her."

"How did you capture her and kill her?"

"I heard her friends call her name. I followed them home and then watched for a week until I finally found her alone. I called out to her and she stopped." He frowns at the memory. "She couldn't figure out how she knew me. I told her I went to her church and had seen her at The Omni. I warned her about bad things happening to girls who sneak away like she did just to have fun in the city. I told her she was going to ride to her house with me and tell her parents the truth; that she should face the consequences for lying and putting herself in danger." He finally makes eye contact with Rossi. "She got in my car and I knocked her out with a fist to the face."

Rossi fights to keep his face impassive. Reid clenches and unclenches his fist.

"I drove her to the park, waiting for her to wake up but I guess I hit her too hard. She never did. So I took a rope and made a noose. I found a tree that she could have climbed and I hung her."

The gleeful tone he had used to tell the story is more than Reid can handle. He leaps at the man.

"BASTARD!"

Rossi just barely manages to stop the young doctor's attack. Thedoroski looks shocked and confused. The two police officers stationed outside the door race in. Rossi looks at them.

"Take him back to his cell."

They stare at the older man pinning the younger man to the wall. Once the prisoner is gone Rossi releases Reid.

"Damn it, Reid! What the hell was that about?"

Reid sits down and buries his face in his hands. "I…I don't know. He was talking about her like she…she wasn't human."

"And to his sick mind she wasn't. You know this, Reid."

Reid nods. "I…I know." He looks up at Rossi. "But it's Amy. JJ's sister. You don't know how hard she took Amy's death. They had no note, no answers, no…no real closure. And no one knew to look beyond the obvious. I just…I want to kill him, Rossi. I want to kill him for what he did to her; to all of the Jareau's."

Rossi slowly nods and sits down. "Me, too, kid. Me, too."

* * *

At noon on Monday Hotch and Morgan show up at the Prentiss home. Hotch had insisted the women take the day off lest JJ be tempted to look into any of the files Garcia was pulling. When Emily opens the door and sees the look in their eyes tears well up in hers.

"Oh, God…"

Morgan nods. "He looks legit, Em."

Just then a bloodcurdling scream is heard coming from the kitchen. The three agents race in and find JJ slumped on the ground against the kitchen island, her cell phone in her hand. Morgan gets to her first and lifts her up.

"Derek…he ki—ki—"

"I know, Jayje. I know."

Morgan carries her straight up to bed, followed by Hotch and Emily. In the master bedroom, he sets her on the bed. Emily moves to her wife. The blonde clings to the brunette. Emily looks to the others for an explanation. Morgan starts to pace.

"They interviewed him and he was able to mention hold back evidence in several cases. In a few, he mentioned things that have to be checked out." He takes a deep breath. "For Amy's case…he mentioned The Omni."

JJ whimpers. Emily holds her closer. "So…what's the plan?" the brunette asks.

Hotch takes over. "We'll fly up this afternoon. Rossi, Morgan and you will go see Mark. Reid, JJ and I will go see her parents. We'll put out word to local police in other cities to speak to victims families in those towns. We need to see who is willing to come see us in person. We have to check out all of his stories." He shakes his head. "We have to rip open all these old wounds. Jennifer…I am so sorry."

JJ just nods, not trusting herself to speak. Morgan takes her hand.

"Jayje, he could still be lying. The Omni could…could have just been a lucky guess. I'm sure all sorts of kids her age snuck over there. Maybe even you did."

JJ shakes her head. "No," she says quietly. "I…I couldn't risk Mom and Dad losing another child."

Morgan winces. "Right. Didn't think of that. Still, we'll find out from you, your parents and Mark anything that could help us prove or disprove his story."

JJ nods. "Okay."

Hotch looks at Emily. "Wheels up at 2."

Emily nods. "Okay."

Hotch and Morgan see themselves out. Emily just continues to hold her wife until JJ finally pulls away.

"What if…what if he didn't and…and we do this to them, Em?"

Emily shrugs. "I don't know, sweetheart. But I do know that you all deserve the truth, no matter what that truth ends up being."

JJ shudders and leans into her wife again. Emily pulls her cell phone out and sends a text to Francesca. Though she and Henry couldn't fly on the jet, they could meet them at the Jareau's that evening.

And God knows the Jareau's will need someone to take care of them over the next few days.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Reposted due to weirdness where a paragraph got discombobulated.**

* * *

At 5:30 p.m. Sandy Jareau opens her front door to find Hotch, Reid and JJ standing there. The men look upset. JJ looks devastated. Sandy's heart skips a beat.

"Oh, God…Emily?"

Hotch shakes his head. "No. She's fine. This is…is about…"

He kicks himself. How many times had he stood outside a house and delivered Earth shattering news to a family? How many times had he told someone that they had lost a loved one? Or that a missing family member had been found dead? He had been doing this for years but it had never, ever been this hard. As he tries to reformulate the sentence he had spoken in his head a thousand times on the flight, JJ speaks.

"It's about Amy, Mom," she whispers.

Sandy looks at her daughter in confusion. "A—Amy? But…but…"

Hotch gets his voice back. "A man has come forward claiming to have killed her. He has compelling enough evidence that we are reopening her case. We need to speak with your family."

Sandy looks at Hotch as if he is speaking another language. She turns back to her daughter. "But…but she…who did…did she…is it true?"

JJ steps to her mother and hugs her. "Yes, he confessed. But is he telling the truth, I don't know. Rossi will walk us through the questions. Is Dad home from work yet?"

Sandy nods. "No…he should be here any minute now."

"Good. Emily has gone to get Mark." She thinks a moment. "Mom…do you know where Amy's diary is? I used to have it but I don't anymore."

Sandy blushes and looks away. "I…I took it from you. I…I needed to…to have her thoughts. I'm so sorry, Jenny."

Jenny forces a smile to her face. "It's…it's okay. But can we…can Spence see it? It may have a clue for them."

"Of…of course. I'll get it and call your father; tell him to hurry."

As if in a trance, Sandy heads upstairs. JJ leads her teammates into the living room to await her father, brother and the diary. JJ stares at a family portrait of the 5 Jareau's that sits on a bookshelf. Their last family photo.

* * *

"**I don't WANT to wear a dress!" JJ complains. "Can't I wear my soccer uniform? It's more me than a dress!"**

**Mark laughs. "Sure, Stinkerbell, and Amy can hold a telephone to her ear since the house one is almost permanently attached to her head."**

**JJ laughs at that thought, not even bothering to glare at her brother forcalling her Stinkerbell. She _hates_ that nickname. He'd started calling her that when she was 6. You'd think after 5 years he'd have stopped .**

**Amy comes grumping into the room. "Do I _have_ to go, Mom?"**

**Sandy throws up her hands in frustration. "Yes, Amy, you _have_ to go! It's a _family_ portrait and whether you like it or not you're part of the family. Jenny, put on your dress and Sunday shoes. NO cleats! And, Mark, stop calling your sister Stinkerbell."**

**Sandy heads into her bedroom to continue getting ready for the portrait sitting at the church. Amy turns around and stomps back into her bedroom.**

**"I HATE this!"**

**JJ stomps into her room. "I HATE dresses!"**

**Mark just stands in the hallway a second. "Yeah, well, I HATE broccoli!"**

**He turns around and stomps into his room. A second later, giggling is heard from both of his sister's rooms, as well as his parents. Mark was always good at diffusing tense situations.**

**They had gone and had their picture taken, then gone out to dinner. They had laughed and enjoyed their time together almost in spite of themselves. **

**Less than a month later, they had been a family of 4.**

* * *

A hand falls on JJ's shoulder. She turns and looks into Hotch's soft brown eyes.

"Are you okay?"

She shrugs. "If I say yes you'll know I'm lying. If I say no you'll look at me with pity."

"Never, JJ. I would look at you as I'm looking at you now: as a concerned friend."

JJ turns back around and nods towards the picture. "That was taken a weekend before she snuck off to The Omni. She really didn't want to go. Now I wonder if she'd planned on sneaking out that weekend. Or was she just being a typical teenager?"

"JJ, you do realize we may never truly know the answers to any of our questions?"

JJ nods. "I know."

Sandy walks in carrying a black velvet bag. With shaking hands, she hands it to Reid. "Please…be careful with it, Spencer."

He nods. "I will. I promise."

He steps into the rec room to scan through the diary, hoping for insight into Amy; praying for a lead that tells them if she really did cross paths with Daniel Thedoroski.

* * *

Mark walks out of the local middle school where he teaches math. He is also the defensive coordinator for the high school football team. He is supposed to be on his way to meet with the other coaches to help with the plans for getting the team to football camp in July. He freezes midway across the parking lot when he sees Emily, Rossi and Morgan waiting near his car.

"Em…he's here," Morgan says.

Emily turns and walks to her brother-in-law. She can see the terror in his eyes. "Jen is okay. So are your parents, Rocky and Henry." She sees his shoulders relax a little. "But we need to take you to your parent's house. Mark, there is no easy way to say this. A man has turned himself in for a series of murders. He…he claims he killed Amy."

Mark's knees go weak and Morgan manages to catch him before he falls to the ground. Mark shakes his head.

"No…she…she killed…he's a liar…a FUCKING LIAR!" he shouts, his emotions swinging to fury.

Emily remains calm. "Unfortunately, he _could _be lying. That's why we have to re-interview all of you. There may be something you can tell us, a lost memory if you will, that can tell us the truth."

Tears silently roll down Mark's cheeks. He can only nod as Morgan lifts his keys from his belt and gets him in his Explorer. Rossi and Emily get in their Bureau Tahoe and lead the way back to the Jareau home. Rossi reaches over and takes Emily's hand.

"You okay?"

Emily shakes her head. "No. I won't be until this is solved, one way or the other." She wipes the tears on her cheeks. "I fucking hate doing this to them. If it's for nothing I'll…I'll…" she doesn't finish the threat.

Rossi nods. "I'll be right beside you," he admits.

They don't have to say the words. This team, this _family_, would not stand idly by if this man was tormenting the Jareau's for no reason.

* * *

"MOM! DAD! JENNY!" Mark yells as he walks in the front door.

He didn't need to yell since they were all in the front living room. His mother walks over and he wraps her up into a hug. He sees JJ standing by the bookshelves, her face pale, her arms crossed in front of her protectively. She steps towards him. For some reason, he directs his fear and anger at her.

"If your fucking team is doing this for kicks or…or to expand your fucking case files I'll—"

She steps towards him, furious. "How DARE you! Fuck you, Mark!"

Emily steps between them. "HEY! Both of you STOP!" She looks at Mark. "Mark, you know better. Jen wouldn't do that." She turns to her wife. "He's scared. We're an easy target. It happens all the time."

JJ just nods. Emily turns back to Mark and sees the shame in his eyes.

"Jenny…I…I'm sorry. That was out of line. Shit…I'm sorry," he says.

JJ stares at him a moment, then launches herself into his arms. The siblings cry on each other's shoulders. Sandy walks over and hugs them both. Emily glances towards the hallway and sees the guys on the team talking to Reid. She frowns and approaches them.

"What's wrong?" She whispers.

Reid sighs. "Amy's diary ends two weeks before she died; the day the family photo was taken."

Emily frowns. "Ends how?"

"She just stops writing. Before that she had put something in there every day, even if just a few sentences."

"So…so something happened after the family portrait to get her to stop writing. What?"

Rossi sighs as he sees Alan Jareau through the window. "That, unfortunately, is my job to figure out."

* * *

Rossi and Reid sit on chairs across from the Jareau's. The four devastated family members sit together on the couch, clenching each other's hands. Alan is the first to speak.

"How…how do you even know that asshole isn't just a sick fuck off the street?"

Rossi sighs. "So far we have walked him through 22 of the 37 cases. He has enough compelling information to make this step necessary. I swear to you, we would not be putting you through this if we didn't think we needed to."

Sandy glances at JJ, who is just staring at the ground. She looks back at Rossi. "I just don't know what more we can tell you."

"Sometimes things that didn't seem important before may now have greater significance. Additionally," he looks at Mark, then JJ, "young children may not have said something because they were scared of getting in trouble. Now older, Mark or JJ may remember something pertinent."

Mark shakes his head. "I told everything I knew. I swear."

Rossi nods. "Okay." He takes a deep breath. "Now, first of all, do you all know why Amy's last diary entry is the Saturday you had your family portrait done?"

Sandy frowns. "I…I don't know."

Alan shakes his head. "That can't be. She wrote in it every day without fail." He looks at JJ. "Jenny, did you know she didn't write anything after that?"

JJ blushes. "Why…why would I know?"

"You're her sister."

JJ shakes her head. "I was her _little_ sister. She didn't tell me much. I was a pest to her."

Reid sits forward in his chair. "Do any of you all know what she did the Sunday after the photo?"

Alan slowly shakes his head. "I…I don't remember. It was…so long ago."

JJ sighs. "She met Jacob after church. But she did that every Sunday. They'd go to the park to…" she blushes "…to make out."

Sandy smiles, her eyes unfocused as she remembers. "She thought we didn't know. But this town is so small everyone knew. It's what all the kids did and…and we thought it was safe…" her voice trails off as she remembers that "safe" place was where Amy was found dead.

Reid frowns and thinks to himself. _"Amy died in a place significant to the kids in this town. Would Thedoroski have known that?"_

"What was her relationship with this Jacob?" Rossi asks.

Mark shrugs. "We've known Jacob our whole lives. He was the All-American kind of kid and it just seemed him and Amy were destined to be boyfriend and girlfriend."

JJ looks at Mark. "He and his friends beat up that kid Donnie for picking on you and some other kids." She looks at Rossi. "He was a good kid. He was…was devastated when Amy died. Ended up getting into drugs and stuff. I'm not really sure whatever happened to him."

Mark squeezes his sister's hand. "He sobered up a couple years ago. He works at the CVS now as an assistant manager."

Rossi makes a note on his pad. "Did Amy ever mention someone that gave her unwanted attention? Someone that made her nervous?"

Alan smiles wistfully. "Amy was fearless." The others nod. "Well…I thought she was. Dave, if she killed herself, something scared her so badly she couldn't face us. If she didn't kill herself…God, she must have felt fear at the end, right? That bastard would have terrified her."

Rossi sighs. "We…don't know enough yet."

JJ glares at him. "Bullshit. What the fuck do you know, Rossi?"

Reid leans towards JJ. "JJ, we're still waiting to confirm a few things."

JJ turns her anger towards Reid. "I'm not some stupid victim, Reid! What the FUCK do you two know?"

Reid's heart skips painfully when she doesn't call him Spence. He doesn't want to hurt her but doesn't know how not to. "JJ…you know how this works. We can't tell you what we know or don't know. I swear if we could we would. You know that."

JJ glares at him. She stands. "Excuse me. I need a drink."

She stomps into the kitchen, leaning over the sink. Her hands grip the edge so tightly her knuckles are white. She jumps as a hand strokes down her back.

"Jen?"

"I can't do this, Em," JJ whispers. "I can't do this. I can't. I can't do this."

Emily slowly turns her wife around and stares into her eyes. "Why not? What's going on in your head, Jen?"

"I…I don't know. I…just feel…I think…"

Emily stares at JJ as the woman's words trail off. Emily suddenly frowns.

"Jen…do you know something?" Emily asks carefully.

JJ is shaking. "I…I don't know. I think…I think I do. Or maybe I just want to know something. Maybe I just want it to be murder so we don't have to feel so fucking betrayed by her."

Emily pulls her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, baby. So, so sorry."

JJ sobs on her wife's shoulder as she feels a memory fighting to surface; as she feels part of her fighting to beat that memory back into the darkness.

"MOMMY!"

Emily looks over her shoulder and smiles as Henry toddles into the kitchen. The little boy walks over and grabs a pant leg of each of his mothers. JJ tries to wipe her face but he sees the tears.

"Boo, Mommy?" he asks.

JJ forces a smile to her face and kneels down. She nods. "Yeah, Henry. Boo-boo."

He kisses her cheek and pats her shoulder. "Boo, Mommy. Boo."

JJ bursts into tears again and pulls him into a hug. "Thank you, Henry. All better now."

Emily strokes a hand down her wife's head, wishing what she had told their son was true. After a few minutes, JJ stands.

"I…I need to get out of here for a while. I need time alone. To think."

"Are you sure, baby?"

JJ nods. "Yeah."

Emily studies her wife's face and finally nods. "Okay. If you need me, call."

JJ nods. "I will. Promise."

JJ gives Henry a hug and kiss. She grabs her father's keys off the counter and heads out the backdoor. She knows if she goes out the front someone might stop her; might question her.

Emily watches her go…knowing her wife was lying to her but not sure about what.


	9. Chapter 9

JJ flashes her credentials quickly. "I'm Agent Prentiss. What room are we using for our investigation?" she asks the desk sergeant.

"Room 125. Down the hall to the right."

She nods. "Thank you."

She walks with a confidence she doesn't really feel. Taking a deep breath she enters the room. Her heart skips a beat as she sees 37 blonde-haired, blue-eyed young women on boards around the room. She makes her way to victim #11. It doesn't escape her notice that her sister's victim number matched JJ's age at the time Amy died.

JJ slowly walks around the table until she gets to the stack of folders for Amy's case. If she looks there's no going back. If she looks, she'll know one way or the other, right? JJ watches her shaking hands lift the coroner's report.

"Jennifer, if you do this you could fuck up the case against that bastard," she tells herself. "But only if I go after him or investigate leads," she reasons. "This is just to try to…to help me understand."

She opens the report and starts to read. Her sister had slowly choked to death. JJ wipes off the tear that drops onto the page in front of her.

"Oh, God, Amy…you had to have been in so much pain," she chokes out.

Against her better judgment, she pulls out the envelope of autopsy pictures. She thumbs through them, trying to distance herself from the images on the page; trying to convince herself this is not her sister. When she gets to a picture showing bruising on Amy's thighs the memory that had been taunting her crashes to the forefront of her mind.

* * *

"**Jenny, do you have any BenGay?"**

**JJ smiles at her sister. "Always." She grabs her soccer bag and pulls out the muscle pain reliever. "Here. Bad day at the park?"**

**Amy forces a smile to her face. "Something like that." As she starts to limp out of the room, JJ stops her.**

**"Hey! You're really hurt! What's wrong, Amy?"**

**Amy turns. "Nothing, Shrimp. Just pulled something."**

**"You're limping on both legs," JJ points out.**

**Amy sighs. "Look, I promise, Jenny, I'm okay. Just…don't tell Mom or Dad. They'll get all worried and take me to the doctor or something. I just…can't do that right now. Please, Jenny."**

**JJ stares at her sister and finally nods. "Okay. But if you're not better soon I'm telling them."**

**Amy smiles. "Thanks, Shrimp. I promise, a little BenGay and I'll be fine."**

**JJ watches as Amy walks gingerly to her room.**

* * *

"Son of a bitch," JJ mutters. She studies the photo and flips through the coroner's report until she finds the ME's write up of the bruising. They would have happened the same day Amy had borrowed the salve. The day after the family portrait. "Oh, God, Amy…someone raped you." JJ shakes in fury. "Jacob raped you, that son of a fucking bitch. That's why he was so messed up at the funeral. He thought you killed yourself because of what he did."

JJ drops the file back down onto the table. She opens the door and steps out…into Hotch's path.

He glares at her. "You've got a lot of explaining to do, Jareau. You were told to stay away from the investigation."

"She'd been raped, Hotch. I know who did it. That's why she would have killed herself. That fucker in the next room didn't kill her. But I know who did!"

She jerks away from Hotch and storms towards the front doors. Morgan intercepts her.

"No! Jayje, you're not going anywhere but home!"

JJ spins away. She rips her credentials out of her pocket and throws them at Hotch. "I quit. There. Now you can't tell me what to do or not to do."

She continues outside. Hotch nods to Morgan. They didn't want to do it this way but they would. Morgan runs after her and grabs her again. Hotch steps forward and cuffs her.

"Jennifer Prentiss, you are under arrest for interfering in a Federal Investigation. You have the right to—"

"NO! FUCK YOU!"

JJ is struggling to get away. Hotch continues to Mirandize her as Morgan shoves her into the back of their SUV. Once inside he sticks his finger in her face as she kicks out at him.

"Stop. Struggling. Don't make me use the ankle cuffs, JJ," Morgan warns her.

The blonde glares at him. "Why the hell are you doing this?"

"Because when you come down from this temper tantrum you're going to realize you want the truth and you want justice. Because _that_ is who you are, Jennifer Prentiss. Don't let this situation take away who you are."

She stares into Morgan's eyes. Something in them steadies her in a way she hadn't expected. She sees compassion and determination in them. Hotch watches the change wash over her. Morgan looks over his shoulder at their boss. Hotch nods. Morgan uncuffs JJ and steps away from the vehicle. Hotch steps forward.

"You dropped these," he says, handing her back her creds.

JJ takes them, ashamed. "Actually, I threw them at you."

He shrugs. "Difference of opinion. Now, what did you do in there?"

JJ tells them about reading the coroner's report and the memory the pictures had triggered. Hotch nods.

"We'd come to the same conclusion about the bruising. That's why Rossi was asking about Jacob and any other boyfriends Amy might have had."

JJ gets angry again. "She _wasn't_ a slut, Hotch!"

He holds up his hands in defeat. "Sorry. That came out wrong. More like any guys that might have felt something for her."

JJ relaxes a bit. "Oh. So, are we going to go talk to Jacob?"

Hotch shakes his head. "No, _we're_not. Rossi and Reid are going to finish with your parents. They'll talk to Jacob tomorrow."

JJ winces. "Spence…oh, shit…I was horrible to him."

Morgan smiles. "He'll understand, Jayje. You know he will."

"I hope so." She turns away. "I…I lied to Emily."

Hotch nods. "She knows. Who do you think called Garcia to track your dad's car?"

JJ manages a smile. "I should have known better."

He nods. "Yes, you should have. But something tells me she'll forgive you."

"Yeah…I know." She rubs her face. "Somehow that makes me feel worse."

"So, can we trust you to drive home and leave this to us? Please?"

JJ slowly nods. "Yes. I'm really sorry for…for everything I've done and everything I may do before this ends."

Hotch grins. "Noted." He glances at his watch. "You have 10 minutes to get home. After that Morgan gets you one-on-one in the sparring ring."

JJ actually chuckles. "I'll get there in 9. Promise."

* * *

When JJ arrives home she sees Emily sitting on the front porch swing. Staring at each other through the windshield, JJ sees her wife's eyebrow go up.

"Shit…she's pissed," JJ mutters.

She gets out and makes her way up to the swing. Emily says nothing as JJ sits down beside her.

"I'd say I'm sorry but it wouldn't be enough," JJ admits.

"You knew where you were going and why?" Emily confirms.

JJ nods. "Yeah. If I told you, you would've stopped me. So I lied." Her eyes fill with tears. "I never thought I would lie to you, Em. Not about something important."

"So what the hell is it okay to lie about so I know," Emily says with irritation.

"Presents, surprise parties, good things. Not shit like this. Not…not me throwing my career out the window." She finally looks her wife in the eyes. "I am so sorry, Emily."

Emily pulls her into a hug. "I love you, Jen. Can't say I wouldn't have acted the same way. Truth is I can't even imagine what this is doing to you. I just wish I could make it all go away."

JJ rubs her hand over Rocky, her head tucked into the crook of Emily's neck. It doesn't escape her notice that Emily hadn't actually said she forgave her for the lie. "I miss her so much. Every day. And now I can't help but think…I've also been mad at her every day. God, Em, what if she didn't deserve that anger?"

Emily kisses her wife's head. "She'll understand, Jennifer. You know she will."

A few minutes later, Rossi and Reid walk out the front door. JJ sits up.

"Spence…" she says contritely.

He smiles at her. "We're good, JJ."

She smiles. "Thank you." She stands and approaches the two agents. "Are they okay?"

Rossi nods. "Your parents and brother are strong, like you. This has them a bit shaky but they will be fine once we have the answers we need."

JJ sighs. "Yeah, about that…" she tells them about the memory that finally broke through for her. Since they had seen the coroner's report they know this confirms their theory. She looks at them. "Could it be…be coincidence that she gets ra—attacked and then gets murdered by someone else right after? I mean, what are the odds, Spence?"

He calculates them near instantly. "About 1,707 to 1."

"That's what I thought," JJ agrees. She takes their hands. "Thank you for…for everything."

Rossi smiles and nods. "Just wish there was nothing to thank us for, kid."

The two men head back to the police station to pull all their information together. JJ takes a deep breath and heads inside her house, Emily following. She finds her parents, Mark and Shelby in the living room.

"Uh, hi."

Sandy walks over and pulls her into a hug. "Are you okay?"

"Are any of us?" JJ counters.

Alan walks over and takes JJ by the shoulders. "Whatever happens, whatever they find out, she's still Amy. We'll still love and miss her because no matter what, she's gone from this world. Don't do something she wouldn't want, Sports Star."

JJ smiles. "I'll try to remember that, Dad. Promise."

Alan pulls his daughter into a firm hug. Emily makes her way to the kitchen to help Francesca with Henry and Abby. The Jareau's needed a few more minutes to work through the earthquake that had shaken their lives once more.

When JJ finally approaches the kitchen she hears a heated, whispered conversation…in Italian. The only words she knows are "Jennifer" and a few curse words she'd learned from Rossi. Francesca is the first to see her standing in the entry.

"Cara…are you okay?"

JJ shrugs. "I honestly don't know." She looks to her wife. "We…you didn't…" she sighs. "I'll see you upstairs."

Emily watches her walk away. Francesca takes Emily by the arm.

"She is sorry, Emily. You know it was her emotions that made her lie to you."

Emily nods. "I know. It just…hurts more than I thought it would."

"Go, cara. I'll get the family fed."

Emily nods and follows her wife upstairs. She finds JJ in the bedroom on the bed, clutching a pillow and crying. Emily kicks herself for being such a shit. She closes the door and walks over to the bed. She lies down behind her wife, pulling her as close as Rocky will allow.

"It's going to be okay, Jen," Emily whispers.

"You…you don't trust me, Em. I saw it in your eyes."

Emily rolls her wife over. Brown eyes stare into blue eyes. "Listen to me, Jennifer: I don't trust you not to follow your emotions in this case. But I trust _you_. Was I mad? Hell, yeah. Tell me you wouldn't be pissed at me if I pulled the same stunt. But I could have stopped you. I could have called you out before you left." She strokes a hand down JJ's cheek. "I knew you needed to see that report to help dig out that memory. God, Jen, I don't think I've even seen you so…so _angry_with yourself. I…had to let you go. But I will say I didn't expect you to lie to me about where you were going."

JJ sighs. "I was scared you'd stop me or…or tell the guys and they'd stop me."

"I know. I decided after Pensacola, while I was stuck in Montana, that I wouldn't let the job come between us again. Ever. Why didn't you trust that you mean more to me than the job?"

JJ eyes widen at the simple question. "Oh, God, Em…oh, fuck…I…shit, I didn't think of it that way." Her eyes well up again and she buries her face in Emily's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Em. So fucking sorry."

Emily runs a hand up and down JJ's spine. Yes, it still hurt but her wife's needs trump Emily's. She kisses the top of JJ's head. "I forgive you, Jen. I love you. Promise me you won't go back to the police station. Please let us handle this investigation."

JJ slowly looks up at Emily. "You'll keep me in the loop?"

Emily nods. "Every way I can. You know I can't pass on everything but I will tell you what I can. I promise."

JJ cuddles into her wife again. "Thank you, Em. I love you. And, Em, I trust you wholly and completely. I swear."

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

They lay there a little longer. Finally JJ realizes Emily's stomach is growling. She slowly sits up.

"I think Rocky is hungry."

Emily gives her a smile. "So is Rocky's Mama."

JJ stands and extends her hand to her wife. "Let's go eat, baby."

Emily nods and they walk downstairs for a late dinner.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning Rossi and Reid walk into CVS. They find Jacob in the office working on the deposits from the night before. They show their credentials to the surprised man.

"I'm David Rossi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid with the FBI. We have a few questions for you about Amy Jareau."

Jacob pales. "A—Amy? She…she died…killed herself…long ago."

Rossi nods. "We know. We've recently had reason to reopen the case. Now, you were her boyfriend, right?"

Jacob looks away. "I had been. We, uh, broke up right before she…she did it."

Reid moves into his line of sight. "Who knew you were broken up?"

Jacob shrugs. "I don't know. Her friends, my friends. Heck, everyone. We'd been together forever. It was kind of a big deal that we broke up."

"Strange that no one mentioned that in any of the interviews that were done by the police," Reid points out.

Jacob snorts. "Interviews. Right. It was an open and shut case, Agents. They barely talked to anyone. Maybe if she hadn't given me back my letter jacket they'd have pushed me more but as soon as they realized we were really split up, the cops accepted that she killed herself." His face pales. "Over…over me. That hasn't been easy to live with."

"I imagine not," Rossi says. "Especially since you raped her."

Jacob leaps up. "WHAT?! Says who? When?"

Rossi opens up the folder in his hands and shows the picture of the bruising on Amy's thighs. "Says the ME report. This happened two Sundays before she died."

Jacob stares at the pictures. "I…I didn't see her then. I was pissed that she ditched me on Saturday for her family. There was a party and we were expected to be there. The next day we broke up. I said she embarrassed me and was being selfish." He drops his face into his hands. "She told me to grow up and tossed my jacket at me and left. I…I never spoke to her again. Not at school or church or anywhere. I was such a jerk. I keep thinking if…if I had just…maybe she wouldn't have…"

Rossi glances at Reid and sees the young man is obviously scanning something in his mind. Finally Reid frowns. "You said she gave you back her letter jacket? The day after the family portrait?"

He nods. "Yeah."

Reid looks at Rossi, who suddenly gets it. "The Omni."

Jacob looks up. "What?"

Rossi looks at the man. "Did Amy ever sneak off to The Omni with her friends?"

Jacob shrugs. "We all did at some point."

"Did she go the weekend before she died?"

Jacob thinks a minute, then shakes his head. "No. I was going and, shit, this is so fucking ridiculous, I told her best friend that Amy better not go and ruin my Saturday."

"I see. Do you know why she might have a ticket from that day in her memory box?"

Jacob thinks a moment, then shrugs. "No. I mean, unless she went anyway and I didn't see her. Jamie Dealers would know."

Rossi glances at Reid, who explains. "Best friend since kindergarten. We're talking to her at 11."

The older agent nods, then turns back to Jacob, handing him a card. "If you think of anything that could help us trace Amy's last two weeks, call us."

Jacob takes the card and nods. "Sure. Hey, uh, when will you know what really happened?"

Rossi sighs. "I wish we had a crystal ball."

Jacob just nods as they walk out. When they get into the SUV, Reid looks at Rossi.

"Thedoroski says Amy was in her boyfriend's letter jacket when he saw her."

"And he said she was hiding behind some other guys so someone wouldn't see her. She could have been hiding from Jacob," Rossi points out.

"But that doesn't explain the letter jacket unless she had already moved on."

Rossi sighs. "Or…or unless Thedoroski saw a different girl. Maybe…maybe _killed_a different girl."

Reid pulls out his phone and calls Garcia. "Garcia, we need you to search in and around the greater Pittsburgh area for a girl that fits our victim profile who was killed or went missing the same day Amy died."

Garcia starts to type. "And why am I doing this?"

"Thedoroski's story doesn't match a witness statement. We need to know if one of them is lying or just mistaken."

"Okay. Let's see…I have a report of…no, she was found... Wait! Oh, my God! She could be Amy's twin!"

"Who, Garcia?"

"There's a girl named Samantha Bradshaw who went missing from Millvale, which is a stone's throw away. But she was a hard case, always running away, getting in trouble. She was the 'bad kid' to Amy's 'good kid' and so she didn't get much press."

Rossi looks at Reid. "So if Thedoroski was having to peruse old newspapers to remember who he killed, he'd find Amy's story, not Samantha's."

Reid frowns. "He's a sociopath. I get that names mean nothing but he'd remember how he killed her, how he found her."

"Garcia, was Bradshaw ever found?"

"Yes. Oh, poor baby…she was tortured, raped and strangled then left down by the river."

"His other victims were found near water. Amy wasn't," Reid points out.

"This guy didn't kill Amy Jareau," Rossi concludes. "But why the hell doesn't he know that?"

"Freak of nature who wants to be famous like that creep John Mark Karr who confessed to killing Jon Benet Ramsey?" Garcia offers.

Rossi slowly shakes his head. "I don't think so. Reid, when we show him the pictures, he does the same thing every time. We need to watch the video. Let's get Hotch and Morgan watching, too. I want to see if everyone sees what's I'm thinking."

"Send it my way if you want," Garcia tells him. "I'm willing to listen to his freakiness if it helps my Jayje."

Rossi smiles. "I'll keep that offer in mind, Garcia. But I know you're swamped with other work considering the number of cases we're looking into."

Garcia sighs. "Yeah…guess I need to get back at it. Is it just me or does only one case really seem to matter to us?"

"It's not just you, kid," Rossi assures her. "But 36 other families need closure, too."

"Right. Garcia out."

She hangs up. As Reid puts his phone away, he looks at Rossi. "Did you believe Jacob about him not raping Amy?"

Rossi bites his lip a moment, then shakes his head. "No. But I think he believed himself."

Reid nods. "I thought so, too."

The two men head back to the police station to interview other witnesses in Amy's case and 4 others in the immediate area.


	11. Chapter 11

_Dear Diary,_

_I actually had fun today with my family. I really hope that little snoop Jenny doesn't read this because there is no way she won't blurt it out to Mom, Dad and Mark. She'd do it just to bug me. _

_Jacob is mad at me for not going to some party with him. We're meeting tomorrow at the park to "talk" he says. He's getting so possessive it's really annoying. He forgets I have a life away from him. He's really going to freak when I tell him I've decided to go with my family when Jenny plays in that tournament in D.C. He told me I should stay at Jamie's house so he and I can still hang out. He even said Jamie would cover for us if I wanted to sneak out._

_Well, I better go. Something tells me the talk with Jacob is going to be looooooong. Ugh. And, Jenny, if you read this and tell anyone what it says I'll take sandpaper to your cleats._

* * *

JJ wipes the tears from her eyes. Yes, there were many times she had snuck into Amy's room and read her diary. But after Amy died, JJ had simply hidden the diary away, not brave enough to read what it might say; worried it was all her fault. She leans back against the tree in the middle of her parent's backyard, lost in memories.

A hand falls on her shoulder. She looks up as her mother hands her a cup of coffee. JJ manages a smile.

"Thanks."

Sandy sits down on the ground beside her daughter. "I'm sorry I took it from you."

JJ shrugs. "It's okay. It just…freaked me out to see it gone." She chuckles. "I had this idea that Thedoroski had somehow broken into my house, stolen it, and was using it to make up his confession."

"That would have been some trick," Sandy jokes.

"Tell me about it. Did…did you read it?"

Sandy nods. "Yes, I did. How often did you read it, Jenny, that just about every entry had some sort of threat to you?"

JJ laughs. "I read it a lot. Mark's the one that got me into it. Her life just seemed so…so great. When I wasn't on the soccer field I wanted to be her."

"And on the soccer field you wanted to be Pele."

JJ nods. "Hey, if you want to be the best you emulate the best. He was the legend at the time."

Sandy nods. "True. Jenny…did she do it? Did she kill herself?"

JJ sighs. "I…I don't know, Mom. Her last entry is the night we did the family portrait. For some reason she never wrote in her diary again. Something happened Sunday to make her not want to record the day."

Sandy swallows. "Jenny…do you think…did you see the report from the coroner?"

JJ turns and studies her mother. "Have…have you seen it?"

Sandy shakes her head. "No. I couldn't. I didn't want to remember her that way."

JJ nods. "That's good, Mom. Trust me. No parent should have to see those reports."

"You didn't answer my question, Jennifer."

JJ turns and stares towards the backyard fence. She takes a deep breath. "Yes, I read it."

"Did she kill herself?"

JJ stares down at the grass. "I don't know, Mom. It was inconclusive. I think the coroner just didn't want to drag it out any longer than necessary so he made the easy declaration."

"What do you think?"

JJ feels the tears well up in her eyes once more. She slowly turns and stares into her mother's eyes. "I think I miss my sister."

Sandy pulls her daughter close as they both cry for the missing piece of their hearts.

* * *

"**PUT IT BACK, MARK!"**

"**No! Come on, we'll just read a few pages."**

**JJ stares at her 10 year old brother. For his birthday he'd gotten as 'Junior Spy' kit and has decided the best person to spy on is Amy. He has managed to find her diary and is planning to read it. His 7 year old sister knows they are playing with fire.**

**"Mark, if she finds out she'll kill us both!" JJ tries to warn him.**

"**She'll only know if you say something, Stinkerbell."**

**"STOP calling me that!" JJ says angrily.**

**He taunts her. "Why, Stinkerbell? I thought that's who you wanted to be for Halloween last year."**

**She stomps her foot. "NO! I wanted to be TINKERBELL! You're so dumb, Mark!"**

"**You're BOTH dumb! What the HECK are you DOING in my ROOM?" Amy roars.**

**Mark quickly hides Amy's diary behind his back. JJ is just frozen. Amy stomps towards them.**

**"Give it, Mark!"**

**"Um…give what?" he mumbles.**

**Amy grabs him by the shirt. "Give me my diary, you little jerk!"**

**Mark swallows and slowly hands over the diary. "I was just making Jenny put it back!"**

**JJ spins on him. "You WHAT? LIAR!"**

"**AM NOT!"**

**"ARE TOO!"**

**"YOU'RE BOTH TWERPS!" Amy yells.**

**The three start to scream and yell at each other. Suddenly a voice silences all of them.**

**"EEEEE-NOUGH!"**

**The kids slowly turn and see an angry Sandy Jareau. Amy points at her siblings.**

**"They're in my room reading my diary!"**

**Sandy looks at the younger two kids. "Rooms. Now."**

**Mark and Jenny don't need to be told twice. They are equally scared of their mother and Amy at the moment. But they are sure their mother would be the less dangerous of the two.**

**Five minutes later Sandy walks into JJ's room.**

**"You have 2 minutes to tell me your side of the story."**

**JJ sighs. "Mark wanted to play spies. I didn't know he meant we'd be spying on Amy 'til he went in there and snooped around 'til he found her diary. I told him to put it back, Mom. I did. Promise!"**

**Sandy nods. "That matches Mark's story. Jenny, next time, don't put yourself in the position to get in trouble with Mark."**

**"Yes, ma'am."**

**As Sandy leaves, JJ drops down onto her bed. "Dumb Mark," JJ mumbles. "Now Amy will find a new place to hide her diary. I hate wasting time looking for it!"**

* * *

"Mom? Do you remember the time Mark got in trouble for using his spy kit to get to Amy's diary?"

Sandy nods, smiling. "Yes, I do."

"The reason I was so mad at him was I knew where the diary was hidden. And I knew Amy would hide it better now that he'd found it."

Sandy slowly looks at her daughter. "Amy was right…you were a little twerp."

JJ smiles. "Yeah, I was." JJ pulls out of her mother's arms. "I…I need to go for a drive."

"To where?"

"I need to go…there. Where it happened. I just need to."

Sandy kisses her daughter's cheek. "Tell Emily."

JJ smiles. "I will."

JJ heads inside. At the door, she turns and sees her mother walking to the garden. Alan and Mark had gone to work that morning. They said they needed the normalcy. Sandy had turned down a substitution opportunity. JJ is heading to the park. Just like after they lost her, the family had drifted away from each other. JJ vows that no matter the outcome of the investigation, they would not drift away from each other as long this time.

She goes inside and finds Francesca in the kitchen with Henry. She smiles at her son.

"Did you have a good breakfast, Little Man?"

"Yummm!" he tells her.

She smiles and gives him a kiss. Glancing at the nanny, she asks, "Has Emily left yet?"

"Not yet, cara."

"Good."

JJ heads upstairs to see her wife. She finds Emily in the bathroom finishing with her make-up. JJ leans against the doorway.

"Em, I'm not just going to sit around here today." She raises a hand to stop Emily's protest. "I won't investigate anything. I promise. I just need…to feel close to her. I'm going to her grave for a while and then to the park where…where she was found. I just wanted you to know so that you wouldn't worry about me and so if the team has to go to the park you'll know I could be there."

Emily walks over and lays her hands on JJ's shoulders. "Thank you for telling me, Jen. I promise to keep you as in the loop as I can. I love you, Jennifer."

"I love you, too."

Emily pulls JJ close. They stand there a few minutes, Emily trying to will some of her strength into her wife. She knows JJ hasn't slept much since finding out about Daniel Thedoroski. She can't go much longer before she drops.

* * *

JJ stares across the cemetery. So far she hadn't gotten up the nerve to walk out to her sister's grave. She sits on the bumper of her mother's car, wondering what it will do to them all if they find out Amy was murdered. It's like her father had said: no matter what she's still gone. They've mourned, they've adapted, they've moved on.

"Why the hell are we even…even dredging this up again? She gave me her necklace. She made sure to tell us all she loved us. She followed the blueprint of a suicide to a 't'. Jennifer Prentiss, what the hell does this investigation accomplish? Is it just to alleviate our guilt?"

She finally stands and makes her way across the rows of gravestones to the one that bears her sister's name. She sees a dried bouquet of flowers in front of the stone and knows this means her mother still visits regularly. JJ frowns.

"I…I should have brought you something, Aim. I guess I'm not exactly at the top of my game right now." JJ sits down and crosses her legs. "I miss you, Amy. Guess I need to fill you in on a few things." She smiles. "Emily's pregnancy is going great. Well, except for a really bad continual craving for sardines and anchovies. And the baby is a little girl. Her name is going to be…be…" JJ has to stop and catch her breath. "Her name will be Roxanne Amy Prentiss. We'll still call her Rocky for short. Well, at least until she gets old enough to tell us where to stick that nickname if she doesn't like it."

JJ sits there for another hour, telling Amy all about life in Virginia. Or, as Garcia calls it, life in Prentissville. Eventually she stands.

"Well, I need to go on, Amy. I need to see where…where you died. I need to really put this all behind me. I promise to let you know what happens to that bastard Thedoroski." She sighs. "I love you, Amy. Forever."

* * *

JJ drives over to the park she had spent so many hours playing soccer in. She drives past the playing fields, past the pond, past the playground, until she comes to the last parking area. From there she can walk to the secluded section of the park kids used to go to make out in. She had never been there before. She just couldn't bring herself to go and her friends had understood.

She can't help but grin. She may never have been there before but the area is easy to find: just follow the candy wrappers and energy drink cans scattered on the ground. When she gets to the open area at the end of the path she looks around, remembering talking to Amy about it. She kneels down, her mind drowning once more in memories.

* * *

"**What do you all do down there?" the 11 year old asks.**

**Amy shrugs. "You know…just hang out and stuff."**

**JJ grimaces. "By 'stuff' you mean 'smooshing', right?"**

**Amy laughs. "Yes, I mean _kissing_, Jenny. But we also talk and gossip and have fun."**

**JJ just shakes her head. "Don't you all do that stuff at school?"**

**"Yes, but it's different out in the park. You can cuss and stuff without worrying about teacher's hearing you."**

**JJ's eyes get wide. "You _cuss_? Really?"**

**Amy grins. "Shit, fuck, damn. Hell, yeah, I cuss, bitch."**

**JJ's face is BRIGHT red! She had never heard her sister cuss. Heck, she had never heard someone cuss so much at one time. Not even in the movies she wasn't supposed to watch but did when her parents weren't home.**

**"Won't you go to Hell for cussing like that?"**

**Amy laughs and ruffles JJ's hair. "No, I won't go to Hell for cussing. They just tell us that at church to try to keep us from saying bad words."**

**JJ thinks about that a minute. "But then aren't they lying?"**

**Amy shrugs. "Rules are different for adults."**

**JJ shakes her head. "That's not fair. The rules should be the same for everyone."**

**"Maybe. But then it wouldn't be as much fun to fucking cuss," Amy says with a wink.**

**JJ giggles. Yeah, her sister was so cool!**

* * *

"Hi, Jenny."

JJ jumps, she had been so lost in her memories she hadn't heard anyone approach. She slowly stands and stares at the man she believes raped her sister.

"Hello, Jacob."


	12. Chapter 12

Rossi slowly places two pictures in front of Daniel Thedoroski. One is Samantha, the other is Amy. The man frowns at the pictures a moment then looks up at Rossi.

"Are you trying to trick me?"

Rossi slowly shakes her head. "Who are they?"

Thedoroski looks back down. He stares at Amy a moment then shifts to Samantha. He rubs his eyes and scratches his head. He starts to slowly rock back and forth in his chair, a nervous tic that shows he is under great mental duress. Rossi taps the photos.

"Who are they?" he asks again.

Thedoroski starts to rock faster and shake his head, muttering over and over again. "It's a trick. It's a trick. It's a trick." Finally he shoves the pictures back at Rossi. "IT'S A TRICK! I ONLY KILLED ONE! WHICH ONE?"

Rossi glances at Reid. He slowly looks back at the suspect. "You tell us."

Thedoroski gets up and starts to pace. He mutters to himself, too low for the agents to make out the words. They glance at the two-way mirror.

On the other side of that mirror, Hotch looks at Morgan and Emily. "Has he had a psych evaluation?"

Emily shakes her head. "No."

"Order it. Now. Something is off. Too many of these cases are…are close but not exact."

"What are you thinking?" Morgan asks.

"He's 64. Could be early onset Alzheimer's. He knows he killed women but can't remember them exactly. He could have used newspapers and online articles to try to find his victims. He _needs_ to remember them. When that didn't help him, he confessed to the ones he thought he committed."

"And then we fed him enough information to help him solidify some of his memories," Emily concludes. "But if he killed Samantha, not Amy, why would he know so much about Amy's death?"

Hotch looks at Emily. "Do we know for sure she went to The Omni that weekend? Reid pointed out that even if she did, she wouldn't have had a guy's letter jacket on since she and Jacob broke up."

Emily bites her lip. "I'm speaking with Jamie Dealers in a few minutes. She was Amy's best friend."

"Find out about the theatre. If Amy didn't go, find out what the ticket meant."

Emily nods and heads out to see if Dealers had arrived yet. Hotch turns back to the interrogation. Garcia had managed to find other deaths similar to ones that had raised red flags for the agents and detectives. The more those are put in front of Thedoroski the more agitated he gets. Finally Hotch knocks on the window, ending the interrogation.

Rossi walks out. "We got a problem, Hotch."

"I know. Order a psych eval."

Reid looks ashamed. "Did…did we just dredge up all the pain surrounding Amy's death for nothing?"

Morgan shakes his head. "No, Reid, Thedoroski did. We're going to find answers JJ and her family never had before. It's time for those answers to come out of the dark."

Reid just nods, still not sure he fully accepts that answer; not when JJ and her family are in so much pain.

* * *

"I'm SSA Emily Prentiss. Thank you for coming in."

"You're the one Jenny married, aren't you?" Jamie Dealers asks.

Emily smiles and nods. "Yes, I am."

Jamie just nods. "And now you are re-opening Amy's suicide. Isn't that a conflict of interest or something?"

"No. Trust me, this case is very complicated."

"And painful. What the hell does it matter if she killed herself or not? She's gone. Just gone," she repeats, her voice trailing off.

"A man has claimed to have killed her. We have to look into his claim. Trust me, this it not something any of us do lightly."

Dealers stares at her a moment, then nods. "I bet. So what do you want to know that I didn't tell all those years ago?"

"The week before she died, do you know if Amy went into Pittsburgh to The Omni?"

Dealers shakes her head. "No, she didn't. Truth is, I was kind of pissed she didn't go. But Jacob was going and he made it clear he didn't want to see her there. Rather than cause problems for all of us, Amy stayed behind."

Emily nods and makes a note on her legal pad. "Do you know why she might have had a ticket stub from that weekend in her memory box?"

The other woman frowns. "No, I can't-oh…oh, wait…shit, it was my stub." She rubs her eyes. "She and Jacob had practically been joined at the hip since 5th grade." She smiles as the memory surfaces. "She wanted my stub because she said it marked the first night of the rest of her life. She was finally free of him."

"So she didn't seem sad or upset about her break-up with Jacob?"

"No," she shakes her head. "More like relieved."

Emily nods. Now she had to ask the question that she hates. "Jamie, do you think Jacob might have raped Amy the weekend they broke up?"

Dealers sits back in her seat in shock. "N—no. No! I mean…shit…" she buries her face in her hands. "Shit, shit, shit…that fucker raped her!"

Emily sits forward. "Jacob?"

Dealers nods. "Yeah. He fucking raped her. He…he told his buddies that Amy 'put out' for him. Told them she was easy. Then he told Amy that he'd stop the rumors if she got back together with him." Dealers smiles. "Amy told him where to stick it."

"So Amy stood up to him? Didn't cave in?"

Dealers shook her head. "Never even thought of caving to him. And she told me and the rest of her friends if we believe what he's saying then we weren't really her friends. I remember wishing I had the strength she had to face all the rumors flying around. She seemed so…so at peace." Dealers stares into Emily's eyes. "After she…died, I read all sorts of stuff about suicide. I convinced myself that her bravery was a sign she had come to the decision to kill herself. But honestly I never believed it. It just…it made me feel better to think of it that way."

"Do you know why she might have given her favorite necklace to her sister?" Emily asks.

Dealers shrugs. "No. I didn't know she did that."

Emily makes a final note. So far Dealer's information could swing to suicide or to murder. It was just so inconclusive. She smiles at the woman.

"Is there anything else you think we should know?"

Dealers sighs. "Only that she loved her family, especially her little brother and sister. I just can't imagine she would have done that to them."

Emily sighs. "I hope you're right. Thank you for your time. If you think of anything else, no matter how small, please give me a call."

Dealers takes Emily's card. "I will. Thank you, Agent Prentiss. And tell Jenny…tell her I still miss Amy."

Emily smiles and nods. "I will."

Emily heads to the conference room the team is using. She drops into a chair and looks at the guys. "Jamie Dealers never believed Amy killed herself. In fact, she said Amy was taking her break-up with Jacob really well. She didn't even let the rumors he was spreading get to her."

"Could have known it wouldn't matter for much longer," Morgan points out.

Emily nods. "I know. Truth is, based on Dealers interview, I still have no idea what to think."

Hotch sighs. "We've been told the evaluation will take the rest of the day. Do we have any other leads to pull on the Jareau case?"

Reid shakes his head. "Not unless we go at Jacob again with what we know."

Morgan shrugs. "Don't really know much more than we did before."

Emily had been slowly flipping through the police report on Amy Jareau. Suddenly she frowns. "Guys, why weren't Jen or Mark formally interviewed all those years ago? There are just a few basic notes. Didn't Mark say they talked to the cops?"

"Could be the police didn't want to traumatize them more so they didn't push them. For the pain they were in, it may have seemed like a longer talk to kids," Rossi suggests.

"Maybe. Probably even. But we need to talk to them without their parents around. Fuck me for saying this, we need to push them about Amy's state of mind," Emily says.

Hotch nods. "I hate to say it but I agree. Rossi, Morgan, go to see Mark. Reid, you and I will interview JJ."

Emily pulls out her phone and hits JJ's speed dial. She hears it answer and immediately go to speaker phone. Her frown turns to concern.

"Oh, shit…guys, listen!"

She puts her phone on speaker so everyone can hear what is happening. After a second they all race out to the SUV's.


	13. Chapter 13

JJ and Jacob stare at each other. Finally JJ speaks.

"I saw the coroner's report. Saw the pictures of the bruising on her thighs." Jacob winces. "I've been in law enforcement long enough to recognize signs of rape, Jacob."

"No! I…I didn't! I mean…not exactly. Shit…" he runs his hand through his hair. "She was my girlfriend, Jenny. I loved her!"

JJ steps towards him. "So you _raped_ her?" she says incredulously.

"NO! Not…not exactly!"

"You said that already. Here's the thing, Jacob, rape either occurs or doesn't. There's no 'not exactly' option."

He starts to pace. "We'd been here and were making out. I was…was so mad that she had skipped the party the night before and she was trying to make me happy. We got to third base and…and then…"

"And then she said stop," JJ finishes.

He digs his hands into his hair. "You can't take a guy that far and then SAY NO!" he says furiously.

JJ steps closer. "YES you CAN!"

He turns and backhands her unexpectedly. JJ takes a step back, amazed at the rage in his eyes.

"She OWED me! It was a MAKE OUT party and she SKIPPED IT! SHE OWED ME!"

JJ's phone starts to ring. She glares at him as she reaches for it. He smacks it out of her hand.

"NO!" he yells at her.

"JACOB! That's my _wife_!"

He grabs her as she goes to pick it up and throws her away from it.

"What the hell are you DOING?" she screams at him.

"I…I have to make amends! I have to!"

He pulls out a gun and levels it at JJ. Her hand reflexively goes to her hip…but she is unarmed. Her only weapons are words until she can get the gun away from him. She has no idea her phone was still on and her team was listening to every word.

"So this is how you make amends? Pulling a gun on me?" JJ challenges him. "You admit you drove my sister to suicide and then kill me so I can't tell anyone you're a rapist? You make amends by making my parents bury another child? I don't remember reading about that in the 12 Steps."

He runs his free hand through his hair again. "I didn't mean to rape her, Jenny. I swear I didn't. But she kept letting me get closer and closer and then stopping me."

"AND THAT WAS HER RIGHT!" JJ screams.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! You can't do that to a guy over and over! Not when others are willing to do more! Hell, if her best friend hadn't been so good at blow jobs I would have lost my mind! Amy was a cockteaser, Jenny! She owed me!"

JJ glares at the man in front of her. She tries to picture him as a confused, horny teenager but she can't. Maybe…maybe if he seemed remorseful about Amy she could feel for him. But he is only worried about himself.

"You are so fucking pathetic," JJ tells him. "She died because of _you_, Jacob. She killed herself because of you. _She_ is the one you need to make amends with, not me."

"I don't have her. I have you," he points out. "I need you to forgive me."

"Go fuck yourself, Jacob," JJ spits at him.

He cocks the gun. "Forgive me, JJ. Don't make me hurt you."

"You'll have to shoot me, you sick fuck. I'll never forgive you."

His hand is shaking. He wants her to forgive him; he _needs_ her to forgive him. As he runs his hand over his face once more, JJ acts.

She spins and kicks the gun from his hand. She winces as it fires but it stuns him. She races at him and tackles him to the ground, trying to get her hands on the gun. They roll through the dirt and leaves, each trying to get a hold of the gun. JJ finally slams his hand against a rock and he releases the weapon. She grabs it and throws it away from them.

"NO! DAMN IT, JENNY!"

He gets up to try to scramble after it. She grabs his ankles and brings him crashing back to the ground. He kicks at her, his foot busting open her lip but she twists his other foot backwards, making him howl in pain. He swipes at her with his hand and she manages to grab his thumb, twisting it painfully.

"STOP FIGHTING ME, JACOB! I'M A FUCKING FBI AGENT! YOU WON'T FUCKING WIN!"

They are now rolling around again. Jacob ends up on top of JJ. He stares down at her.

"Why are you doing this, Jenny?"

"Why? Are you fucking _serious_? I'm not going to let you _kill_ me, Jacob!"

"But I-"

Whatever he was going to say is choked off when Reid tackles him off of JJ. JJ scrambles away as Reid draws back and punches Jacob in the face three times before Morgan finally pulls him off. JJ's escape is stopped by Emily's arms.

"I've got you, Jennifer. I've got you," Emily says calmly.

Morgan rolls Jacob to his stomach and cuffs him. JJ points towards the trees.

"Gun. That way."

Morgan nods. "We'll find it."

JJ just nods, letting Emily's warm embrace comfort her. "He raped her, Em," she whispers.

Emily kisses her wife's temple. "I know, Jen. Your phone was on. We heard it all." Including the comment about Jamie Dealers, Emily thinks to herself. Looks like she would need to talk to the woman one more time.

As Morgan and Reid drag Jacob to his feet, the man looks at JJ.

"I can't go to jail for rape, Jenny."

"You won't, you bastard. Statute of limitations is up."

"But…it's up to the victim's 50th birthday," he points out.

"Unless the statute was up when that extension was passed. Unfortunately Amy's was or I'd make sure you got put away in a prison where the other convicts would really enjoy you."

"So…so I'm not under arrest?"

Hotch steps towards him. "Jacob Wellers, you are under arrest for illegal discharge of a firearm, assault and battery, and attempted murder of a Federal Agent." He gets in his face. "You're going away for a long, long time." He nods at Morgan and Rossi to drag the jerk away.

Reid kneels down beside JJ. "Are you okay?"

JJ manages a smile. "Are you? That was a heck of a tackle, Spence. Not to mention the punches."

He grins. "Guess hanging around with Morgan has rubbed off on me."

JJ rubs his cheek. "Thank you."

He just nods, blushing.

* * *

Jamie Dealers looks up from her desk at the bank as Emily and Hotch walk in. "Hi, Agent Prentiss. Is there an update?"

"Yes, there is. Turns out you were giving blow jobs to Amy's boyfriend, a fact you forgot to mention."

Dealers blushes. "Uh…I, um…didn't think…it mattered."

"It matters because it throws your entire story into question." Emily leans on the desk and glares at the woman. "Tell me the truth or I will make sure you are charged with hindering an investigation and any other thing I can come up with. You can say bye-bye to your bank job and your Beamer."

Dealers stares at the woman and wisely believes her. She sits back, her eyes full of shame. "Amy was…was devastated. Her friends turned on her, the football team called her a slut and a whore. Jacob was hailed as a hero while she was branded with a scarlet letter."

"And the theatre ticket?" Emily presses.

Dealers looks down. "I gave it to her…because Jacob asked me to go steady with him while we were there. I was such a bitch. I don't know why she kept it."

Emily sighs and looks at Hotch. "It was a clue to the reason she…she killed herself."

Hotch reluctantly nods. Everything was now fitting. They had ripped open wounds in their friends only to see that Amy Jareau really _had_ committed suicide.


	14. Chapter 14

Emily stands in front of her wife and her in-laws. Before she even speaks, they all know.

"I am so sorry," she begins. "Amy was not killed by Daniel Thedoroski. She…she really did commit suicide."

JJ is clutching her brother's hand. Tears stream down her face.

"Wh—why?" Alan finally asks.

Emily explains everything that had happened from the Sunday after the family portrait up until Amy was found. By the end, Alan is holding a sobbing Sandy. Shelby is holding her husband. And JJ is pacing.

"Why the hell didn't they tell us? Or someone? Why the hell did it take this to get us the fucking answer?" JJ rages.

Emily shrugs. "They were scared, stupid kids, Jen. Jacob drowned his memories in booze and drugs. Jamie focused on her career and ignored her personal life. Over time they…they convinced themselves it didn't matter; that it was just old news."

"Well it _did_ matter. So fuck them both!"

JJ storms out of the room. Emily looks to the others. "Do you…do you have any more questions for me? Or for the team?" The guys were out front just in case they are needed.

Alan shakes his head. "No, Emily. I think…I think Jenny needs you right now."

Emily nods and heads for the backyard. She finds JJ under the tree where her mother had found her that morning.

"Jen?" she asks warily.

JJ is wracked with sobs. She can't speak, just reaches her hand up to her wife. Emily sits down and pulls JJ close, her own heart breaking as JJ mourns her sister once again.

* * *

"**Hey, Jenny, how you doing?"**

**JJ looks up from her math homework. "Fine, I guess. Are you really going with us to DC for my tournament?"**

**Amy smiles. "I'll…I'll try to, Shrimp." She sits down beside her sister. "I've got a present for you."**

**She takes off her necklace and gives it to JJ. JJ's eyes widen.**

**"But…but why?"**

**"Because you like it." She runs a hand through JJ's hair. "Jenny, remember: no matter what happens, I will always love you. Okay?"**

**JJ nods. "Sure. Okay. But it's your favorite necklace. I can't take it, Amy."**

"**Sure you can, Shrimp. Just wear it and remember that you had the best big sister ever."**

**JJ grins. "Just like your memory box says."**

**"That's right." Amy gives JJ a hug. "I love you, Jenny."**

**"Love you, too, Amy."**

**JJ watches as Amy leaves. She quickly puts the necklace on. Though she feels kind of bad for accepting the gift, inside she is thrilled to have it.**

**The next day Amy's body is found. And twenty-plus years of questions begin.**

* * *

"I…I thought…it would…help," JJ says between sobs.

"What would, honey?" Emily asks.

"I thought…if we knew why…it would…it would hurt less."

"Oh, sweetheart, I don't think anything could make that hurt less. She was so young and so loved by you all," Emily says compassionately. "Nothing can take away that pain."

JJ just continues to cry in her wife's embrace. Sometimes there are not enough words, not enough hugs, not enough love to make the hurt any better. Sometimes you can only hold the one you love and hope it is enough to start the wound healing.

* * *

Two hours later Emily and JJ re-enter the Jareau house.

"MOMMY!" Henry hollers happily.

JJ forces a smile to her face and kneels down. "Hey, Little Man."

He runs over to her. He stops and stares at her tear stained face. "Boo, Mommy?" he asks her.

She nods. "Yeah, Henry, I have a boo-boo. But a Henry Hug can make it all better."

He smiles and throws himself at his mother. She pulls him in close, breathing in the sweet, innocent smell of him. As he places a big kiss on her cheek. She smiles for real.

"You give the best hugs, Henry."

"Love, Mommy."

JJ kisses his cheek. "I love you, too, Little Man. I love you so much."

Emily steps to Francesca, who smiles at the mother and son.

"Ci saranno bene?" the nanny asks.*

Emily smiles and nods. "Sì. Lei è Jennifer."**

JJ looks up at them. "Last time you were talking about me in Italian there was cussing involved."

Emily smiles. "True. And you deserved it at the time. But this time, it's all good. Promise."

JJ just nods. She stands, Henry in her arms. "Think we should go see if Grandma and Grandpa are hungry?" Henry nods happily. "Me, too."

She makes her way into the living room to find her parents speaking with Reid. He looks up and winces at her.

"Oh, Jayje, your lip…"

JJ runs her tongue over her split and swollen lip. "It will be fine. How's your hand?"

He lifts up the hand he had punched Jacob with. "Morgan makes punching look easy. Turns out it hurts like he-uh, heck," he amends with a glance at Henry.

"Yeah, it does." She walks over to her parents. "Did Mark leave?"

"He and Shelby are out front. He needed some air," Alan says emotionlessly.

JJ stares at her parents a minute, then looks at her son. "Henry, why don't you take Uncle Spencer into the kitchen for a cookie?"

"Cookie! Yummm!" Henry agrees.

Reid takes his godson and heads into the kitchen. JJ sits down on the coffee table in front of her parents. She lays a hand on each of them.

"We finally know why. I know it won't bring her back but…but now we know why. Does it help you?"

Alan rolls his neck. "I don't know yet. I think…I think I so wanted it to be that bastard that it hurts all over again because it's not. We still failed her."

Sandy takes her husband's hand. "No, Alan. We didn't fail her. We didn't know then what to look for or…or what to listen for. We loved her. It just wasn't enough to help her with the shit her peers put her through."

Alan takes a shuddering breath. "Maybe." He starts to cry. "I just miss her so much."

Sandy and JJ wrap him in their arms, crying for a girl who saw no way out except death.

* * *

**Per Babylon Italian translator**

***Will she be okay?**

**** Yes. She's Jennifer.**


	15. Chapter 15

The next day Emily, JJ and Henry are riding back to Virginia with Francesca. The rest of the team was staying in Pittsburgh to continue to investigate the claims made by Daniel Thedoroski.

Sitting beside Henry in the back of Francesca's Land Rover, JJ dozes off. Emily hopes she gets some good rest as the blonde still hasn't really slept.

* * *

"_So, now you know," Amy says._

_JJ nods. The sisters are walking along a path at Quantico. For some reason, it doesn't seem odd to JJ that they are having a conversation in a place Amy had never visited in her life. JJ takes her sister's hand._

_"You could have come to us. Why didn't you?"_

_Amy shrugs. "Small town, big rumor. Just didn't seem like there was a way to get away from it. I was only a sophomore and had so much longer to deal with it. It was…was too much." She stops and looks at JJ. "And I didn't want it to hurt you, too."_

_JJ snorts. "Like your death was easier than a rumor? What the fuck, Amy?"_

"_It made sense at the time. I just figured if I was gone the rumors would stop and no one would try to say you were…were like me."_

_"So you were trying to protect me? Really?" JJ says doubtfully._

"_Like I said, it made sense at the time. Looking back, I think I was just scared and embarrassed. I knew eventually you and Mark would hear the rumors. And then Mom and Dad would. I couldn't face you all."_

_"Amy, you were raped! You didn't just…just sleep around!"_

"_But that's not what the rumors said." Amy stares into her sister's eyes. "Tell me you wouldn't have looked at me differently if you'd heard I was a slut."_

_JJ stares back. "At least I could have looked at you. Losing you is worse than any rumor, any story that could have been told. I miss you, Amy. Every day."_

_"I miss you, too, Jenny."_

_The two women share a hug, sobbing into each other's shoulder._

* * *

"Jen, honey, wake up. Sweetheart, please wake up," Emily pleads.

JJ lifts her head. They are on the side of the road, Emily staring at her with concern.

"What's wrong?" JJ asks.

"You were moaning and crying in your sleep. Are you okay?"

JJ sits up a little straighter. "Uh, yeah. Just…just a strange dream. I was walking a trail at Quantico with Amy. I was…was asking everything I always wanted to. And telling her things, too." Her blue eyes are covered with wells of tears. "It's all so raw again."

Emily nods. "I imagine it is. We're about an hour from home. When we get there, take a bath, relax, let me care for you tonight, okay?"

JJ nods. "Okay," she says quietly. "Thank you."

"No thanks needed. I love you, Jennifer Prentiss."

"I love you, Emily Prentiss," JJ chokes out.

Emily pulls her close, wishing she could take some of her wife's sorrow away.

When they get home, JJ does just as Emily suggests. She lays in the Jacuzzi tub for an hour, lost in memories and emotions. When she gets out, she finds Emily waiting for her in the bedroom.

"Better?" Emily asks.

JJ nods. "Some. Will take some time."

"I know." She hands JJ her phone. "This is for you."

JJ frowns and takes it. "Hello?"

"Hi, Jennifer, it's Dr. Westfallen. Emily said you might need to talk."

JJ's eyes well up again. She smiles at her wife. "Yeah…yeah I think I do."

Emily smiles and nods as she leaves the room. Once again, Emily had known just what she needed.

_"God, I love her so much,"_ JJ thinks to herself.

JJ sits down on the bed with the phone to continue healing the wounds that had been ripped open after so many years.

* * *

**A/N: This story dedicated to my 3 sisters and 2 brothers. I can't imagine life without you...even when I was being a little pest you wanted to pummel. :o)**


End file.
